


The Ties that Bind

by sir_kingsley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artificial Insemination, Chef Dean Winchester, Historian Castiel, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mpreg Castiel, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Post Mpreg, Single Parent Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 17:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21165656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sir_kingsley/pseuds/sir_kingsley
Summary: Dean and Castiel have been best friends for years. Still, nothing could prepare Dean for when Castiel announces that he's tired of waiting for a mate and wants to have a baby through artificial insemination. Dean chooses to set aside his personal feelings and be the supportive friend Cas needs. But things start to go awry at Cas's insemination party when Dean stumbles upon the donor sperm. He doesn't remember anything from that night but eight years later when Cas moves back to Chicago with his daughter, things slowly start to click into place and Dean realizes that the tie he thought he could never have with the man he loves may have been there all along.Based on the film "The Switch."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first DCBB! I want to give a huge thank you to the challenge admins for organizing and allowing me to participate. Thank you to [Wanderingcas](https://wanderingcas.tumblr.com/) for being the best beta and, last but not least, thank you to the talented artist [Supernatastic101](https://supernatastic101.tumblr.com/) for selecting my story and creating such amazing artwork!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic and please feel free to visit me on Tumblr @ [Caslikescoffeeandfreckles](https://caslikescoffeeandfreckles.tumblr.com/) !

“Make sure you prep the steak for tomorrow then head on home, man,” Dean tells his sous chef. 

“Yes, Chef,” Benny responds without looking up from the prep counter where he’s elbow deep in a mound of dough.

Dean is heading out when his phone rings and shows a name he hasn’t seen in a while.

“Hey, angel,” he greets with a wide grin.

There’s a dark smoky chuckle before a voice rumbles, “Hello, Dean.”

It’s been so long since they last spoke, Dean’s body shivers with it just like when he heard it the first time. But that was many, many years ago.

“What’s going on, man?” Dean asks to end the awkward pause. “It’s been a while.”

“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “I’m sorry for going AWOL. Things have been a little crazy around here lately.”

“No problem, I’m just glad to hear from you. How’s everything going? How’s Callie?”

“We’re doing well. She’s as ornery and stubborn as ever. They warn you about the terrible twos but no one says anything about the insufferable sevens.”

Deans laughs and swings his bag over his shoulder, begins locking up his office. “If I remember my childhood correctly, I didn’t stop being terrible until 30.”

“Yes, well, you always were a special case.”

“Ha-ha,” Dean says dryly with an eyeroll that maybe Cas can’t see but can definitely hear. “Did you call for something other than making fun of me?”

“Yes, actually. I have some news to share.”

Cas’s voice is different when he says it, making Dean frown. He offers the staff a small wave as he rushes out of the kitchen and into the slightly more quiet peace of the Chicago street. The night air is like a balm on his overheated skin from hours behind lines of stoves and sweltering ovens and searing grills. “Well let’s hear it,” he says once he’s taken a deep breath.

“We’re moving back to Chicago.”

Dean freezes mid-stride in the middle of pedestrian traffic and gets his toes smashed for it. “Ow, fuck!” he hisses into the phone.

“Dean? Are you okay? Cas asks, voice a little higher and louder coming through the speaker. 

“Yeah, I, uh, sorry.” He shakes it off and starts moving with the rest of the crowd on the sidewalk, trying to get his mind right. “Did you say you were moving back?”

“Yes. The history museum offered me a job. I’m moving in a month.”

“Oh my god,” Dean breathes, mind going in circles. Cas is coming back. _Cas is coming back._ “Oh my god.”

“Is this a good ‘oh my god’ or a bad ‘oh my god?’”

And Dean shouts because he just can’t hold it in and ignores the irritated looks of the people passing him. “Oh my god, Cas! This — this is awesome, man!”

Cas hums and Dean can practically see his smile, small and a little relieved. “I think so too.”

“Man, I can’t believe you’re gonna be here — and Callie too. I- wow. Hey, look. Let me know if you need any help or anything, okay?”

“Of course.”

“I mean it, Cas. Anything. Like if you need help finding a place or moving your stuff, I’m here.”

Cas laughs and it warms Dean where the cool air is now starting to sting his once flushed skin. “I know, Dean.”

“And text me the second you’re in the city.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Dean sighs, energy rushing through him as if he hadn’t just finished a twelve-hour shift and the restaurant. “Dude this is the best news I’ve gotten in months. I-I… I’ve missed you, man.”

“I’ve missed you too, Dean,” Cas says. “I—”

There’s a shout from someone in the background on Cas’s end and he hears Cas groan before there’s a needy shout of “Dad!”

“Duty calls,” Dean says.

“Yes, loud and clear,” Cas grumbles. “We’ll talk soon, okay? I’ll let you know what day we’ll be arriving. Maybe we can get dinner or something.”

“Yeah, Cas, totally. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Have a good one.”

“You too, Dean.”

The line goes dead and Dean throws his head back, staring at the dark sky, the stars hidden behind all the lights and pollution of the city. But he knows they’re there and he thanks them regardless.

_Cas is coming back._

The words echo through Dean’s mind all the way to the train and just seem to swell until he can’t even be irritated by the off-beat drumming and suspicious smells during the 30-minute commute home. 

As he reaches his apartment, keys in hand, he realizes he’s singing under his breath and that just makes him smile more. The door swings open and he can hear the bangs and clashes of dishes being put away.

He kicks off his shoes and swings into the kitchen, slapping the ass that’s bent over putting cookie sheets into a cabinet. “Hey, hot stuff.”

Brady makes an indignant noise and shoots up. “Dean!” He looks ready to scold but as he takes in Dean’s wide grin and jumpy form, his mouth crooks into a suspicious smile. “What’s got you all excited?”

“I just got the best news.”

Brady arches a brow and goes back to his task, carefully placing wine classes in the upper cabinet to the left. “Oh? Harrison Ford is single and wants to meet you?”

Dean laughs. “Okay, second best news.”

“The Impala gets more than ten miles to the gallon?”

“Babe,” Dean whines, bursting at the seams. 

Brady chuckles and finally stops moving, leans against the sink to give Dean his full attention. “Okay. What’s your news?”

Dean’s smile is back tenfold as he says, “Cas is coming back.”

Brady blinks. “Who?”

“Cas! My best friend from college.”

Brady’s eyes slide to the side as if he’s trying to conjure a memory and a moment later something clicks. “Oh. The history guy, right?”

“He’s a museum curator,” Dean corrects, “but yeah.”

“He’s moving back here?”

“Yeah!” Dean cheers because he can’t not. “The Chicago History Museum offered him a job and he took it. They’re moving in a month.”

_“They?”_

Dean opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. “Yeah. Cas and his daughter, Callie.” 

“He has a daughter?”

Dean frowns around his first pull of beer. “Uh, yeah. I’ve told you about her. We send her birthday and Christmas gifts every year.”

Brady’s frown was still for a moment before something akin to recognition lit his eyes, though it was dull. “Oh. Right. Well, that’s great news.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean says, smile returning softly. “It really, really is.”

There’s silence for a moment and Dean can feel Brady’s eyes on him. “When did you say they were coming?”

“Next month.”

“Next month,” Brady repeats, nodding his head. “Okay then. We’ll have to have them over for dinner some time, reacquaint them with the city.”

“Awesome,” Dean beams. “I’m gonna go shower. Might start looking at some places Cas should consider for the move. I know he lived here but it’s been awhile and the neighborhoods have changed.” He takes another long pull from his beer and turns to leave. “Man, I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Hey! Aren’t you forgetting something?” Brady’s voice calls after him.

Dean spins back. “Huh, what?”

Brady crosses his arms over his chest. “My kiss.”

“Oh, right.” Dean smiles sheepishly but takes the few steps to invade Brady’s space, pushing his body against the counter and sliding their lips together. “I’m home, sweetheart.”

Brady smiles against his lips. “Thank you. Go clean up. I’ll help you look at some properties.”

Dean thanks him with another quick peck and dances off do their bedroom.

_Cas is coming back!_


	2. Chapter 2

***Eight Years Ago***

“I can’t believe you brought me here.”

“Stop whining,” Cas says as he holds the door open for Dean. “The food is good and you know it. You just hate it because they didn’t hire you.”

“And as my best friend, you should hate it too.”

Cas laughs softly, eyes rolling. “You’re such a child.”

They get a table by the window and after a few more minutes of grumbling under his breath and stubborn stalling, Dean opens his mouth enough to place an order. They make small talk about work and family until their lunch arrives and Dean finally tries to get to the bottom of this last-minute rendezvous.

“So what’s this all about today?” he asks, picking at his pasta. “You sounded weird on the phone.”

Cas swallows roughly and puts his spoon down. “Oh, yeah, I, uh, I have some… news.”

Dean takes a rough breath, his airways suddenly tight. “That’s not ominous at all.” 

“It’s not bad news,” Cas rushes to assure him and Dean feels almost immediate relief but Cas is still fidgeting in his seat. “It just may seem… odd.”

“O...kay. Can you get to the details so I can stop having a stroke?”

Cas takes a deep breath and fidgeting stops. When he opens his eyes, whatever nerves were there before were gone and replaced with acute confidence. “I’m going to have a baby.”

Dean blinks. Then blinks a few more times. Cas’s image never wavers, the picture of serenity and truth. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m going to have a baby,” Cas says again. 

This time, Dean’s eyes bulge and he feels himself choking on nothing. He scans Cas’s body, up and down. “Y-you’re pregnant?”

Cas laughs now and shakes his head. “No. Not yet.”

“I’m… confused.”

Cas pulls out his phone and pushes it across the table. Dean takes it and reads the words, In-Home Insemination. The words don’t really register for a moment, almost like he’s reading a foreign language. He scrolls down, skimming the first few passages until he reaches a diagram of the omega reproductive system.

“You’re going to have a baby.” The words come out in a whisper. 

“Yes,” Cas says, voice just as soft.

Dean looks up. “Like this?”

Cas shrugs. 

“But… why?”

“It feels like the best move for me,” Cas says. “I’ve always known that I wanted kids but I haven’t found a mate I’ve wanted to have them with.”

Something in Dean’s chest aches with the weight of an unfulfilled wish. He brushes it away. “Yeah, but you’re going to meet someone, Cas! You’re a great person. The best person. You still have time.”

Cas grimaces. “Not as much as you think. Omegas aren’t fertile their entire lives like alphas. Our bodies have a limit and while mine might still be a few years off, I don’t want to be in my late 30s or early 40s and dealing with a newborn baby. I want to have one while I still have the energy to take care of it.”

“I get that, Cas. I do. I just… raising a kid is a lot. And if you do this you’ll be all on your own.”

“Maybe that’s the way it’s meant to be.” And it hurts to hear that, the idea that Cas — perfect, wonderful, brilliant Cas — believes he’s meant to spend his life alone. Not because there’s anything wrong with being alone, but because it’s clearly not what Cas wants.

Dean has watched him try to find a mate since they met in college and he’s watched as Cas gave his whole self to each relationship only to have them fade, implode, or crumble between his fingers. He’s also been there to help Cas through the aftermath, to collect the pieces of himself and eventually find hope in someone else, all the while wishing — _longing_ — for Cas to see a little bit of hope in _Dean._

“Look, I know this seems weird and a little self-defeatist,” Cas says, “but it’s what I want, Dean. And I’d really appreciate your support because I could use your help.” 

“My help? How?

Cas nods and his face turns bright red. “Finding sperm.”

Dean’s brain short circuits. “S-sp-sperm?”

“Yeah. To do this, I have to find a donor and I, well, I....” Cas’s face gets impossibly redder and Dean starts to feel the heat growing under his own skin as he starts to understand what Cas must be trying to ask.

“Oh, y-you mean, you want my, uh, m-my-”

“Oh, no. No, no, no,” Cas says, eyes going wide. “No, not yours, I’m not, I mean, I’m sure you’d be a great donor and make… very healthy children… but I- I mean. You’re my best friend, and I wouldn’t...”

“Yeah. Right. Yeah, “ Dean agrees. He releases a choked laugh, refusing to acknowledge the sinking feeling in his gut. “Okay. So, uh, what do you need me to do?”

“Well, I was wondering if you’d go to the sperm bank with me? To help me look through the donors and choose the best one.”

Dean reaches for his water, needing something to do with his hands while thinking of sitting next to Cas and helping him find the perfect alpha sperm to impregnate himself. “Um, are you sure that’s something I should be a part of?” he asks.

“I don’t see why not. You’re my best friend and, as an alpha, you may have some different insight into what qualities I should be looking for.”

Dean laughs a little at that. “Omegas were literally designed to be able to tell good alphas from bad alphas, Cas.” 

“Yeah, by their scents. But I’m not meeting these alphas in person. I just want a second opinion before I choose the other father of my child. And there’s no one I trust more than you.”

Dean gnaws on his bottom lip.

“Please, Dean?” Cas asks softly, and his hands come across the table, gently circling around Dean’s wrist. “I need you.”

There isn’t the tiniest bit of Dean that wants to agree to this, that wants to help Cas get pregnant with some other alpha’s child. Even if that alpha won’t be directly involved with Cas or the child’s life, it still feels like he’s helping dismantle every dream and fantasy he’s had since he was nineteen and first caught Castiel’s scent. 

It’s a complete betrayal to everything he’s ever wanted.

And clearly something that Cas has never even considered.

Dean’s had a long time to accept the fact that Cas wants nothing to do with him romantically. And he thought he had. But this conversation has proven what Dean has always feared: that he may never get over Cas, that Cas is his person but he is not Cas’s and Cas is going to go on to find happiness with someone else and create the life he deserves. And it will be Dean’s job to smile and wish him the best.

Not stand in his way.

Not mope around and feel bad for himself. 

Dean grips Cas’s hand back and gives a squeeze. “I’ll be there.”


	3. Chapter 3

The elevator slowly ascends the building, taking its sweet fucking time. Dean flexes his fingers, which are going numb under the weight of grocery bags. 

When he’d offered to make Cas a welcome-back dinner he’d initially planned to prepare everything at the restaurant, box it up, and bring it with him after work. But things had gotten a little out of hand in the kitchen today and he hadn’t had time for a side project. So as soon as he could get out, he had sprinted to the closest grocery store and bought everything he needed before running to Cas’s new address. 

His nerves were pulsing, getting faster and faster the higher he climbed, like every atom making up his body couldn’t wait to get to the door. 

Cas has been in the city a few days now but they hadn’t managed to see each other between Dean’s crazy work schedule and Cas trying to settle into a new home, plus get Callie enrolled in school, and report to his new job. It was a crazy time, but his body didn’t seem to understand, buzzing with impatience.

Finally, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Dean made his way down the hall, scanning the numbers until he got to door number 24. He raised his laddled arm and knocked twice.

He swears the next few moments were some of the longest in his life until that door opened and time stopped altogether, his entire world swallowed by two seas of blue.

“Hello, Dean.”

The words make Dean’s whole body shiver and he has to stop himself from purring. 

Cas looks so good — different, but good. He’s a little more filled out, muscular and tan. His chocolate hair is still a mess but a tad bit tamer than in his twenties and he has lines around his mouth and eyes that definitely hadn’t been there before. The tales of parenthood.

But there’s a lot that’s still the same. Like his lips that seem perpetually chapped and an obscene shade of pink, the deep illuminating blue of his eyes that could stop anyone in their tracks, the same crinkle in his nose when he smiles just like he is now at Dean and it makes Dean feel warm all the way down to his toes.

He smiles back, not caring how dopey he probably looks, because this is Cas and he’s here and Dean had missed him.

“Hey, Cas.”

He drops the grocery bags and in the next second Cas is there, wrapped tightly in his arms. He feels Cas’s hands behind his back, holding him just as close as they breathe each other in for the first time in too long. Cas’s scent seeps into him, like honey-sweetened tea during a rainstorm. It soaks deep into Dean’s bones and his memories, bringing up all sorts of happy moments from their past and Dean’s chest does rumble this time.

He can hear and feel Cas chuckle against him. “I’ve missed you too.”

Dean sighs and digs his chin a little deeper into Cas’s shoulder. “You have no idea.”

Dean’s content to do this all night, for the rest of their lives even. Everything about this is perfect. Cas is back and Dean is holding him, smelling him, and it’s everything he’s needed for eight years—

There’s a sharp and purposeful cough from behind them and Dean opens one eye, trying to find the disruption. Nothing jumps out to him at first until he hears it again and looks down. 

“Who is _that?_” a young but authoritative voice says. 

Cas pulls away and Dean could growl but he holds it together. With a grin, Cas steps to the side and reveals a little girl with dark hair pulled into a high ponytail. 

“Dean, this is my daughter, Callie,” Cas introduces, his voice soft and pleased. “Callie, this is your uncle, Dean, one of Daddy’s dearest friends.”

Dean can smell the happiness coming off Cas while he introduces him, and it reminds Dean to calm down and focus on the purpose of this visit. 

He stoops down and holds out a hand to the little girl. “It’s great to finally meet you, Callie.”

The girl eyes him with bold suspicion and Dean can’t help but be a little startled by the intensity of her green eyes. She’s got an adorable spattering of freckles across her nose and that soft milk and honey scent of all children, just slightly soured as she continues to size Dean up. 

She looks at his hand, then up at his face. “You’re the chef,” she says.

“Uh, yeah. That’s me. I own a restaurant downtown.”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

Dean can’t help the little bit of laughter in response to her obvious irritation. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Things got crazy at work. But I’m here now and should have things ready pretty quick.”

Her response is a simple yet powerful eye roll. “We’ll see.”

“Calliope,” Cas admonishes. “Be kind to our guest.”

She eyes her father before mustering up the ghost of a smile and Dean has a weird moment of deja vu. “I mean, we can’t wait.” Then she spins and dashes back into the apartment.

Dean straightens, gaping after the little girl until her father starts to laugh. He slides Cas a look, eyes wary. “Guess I’m already on thin ice.”

Cas continues to laugh as he backs into the apartment, gesturing Dean inside. “Actually, that’s how she acts when she likes someone.”

Dean makes himself at home in Cas’s kitchen. It’s surprisingly spacious and Cas has most things put away save for a few boxes of miscellaneous baking utensils and the fridge is mostly depleted. 

Cas settles on a stool at the island and the two talk while Dean cooks. They talk about the past eight years, everything they missed but wanted to share. It’s hard to say when regular communication between the two stopped. When Cas had first moved, they talked every day, usually in the evening to check in and provide a recap of the day’s events. They would spend hours on Skype during Cas’s third trimester when he was on bed rest, cooped up at home all day and bored out of his mind, and they would watch movies like that, eat dinner and laugh and laugh. It was almost like Cas wasn’t gone.

Then the baby came. Calls started coming fewer and fewer between. They exchanged texts but even those started to become weekly check-ins, then monthly. And then it became your annual birthday and holiday wishes. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas says suddenly and Dean looks up from where he’s pan-frying the burgers, a brow arched in question. “For letting our friendship dissolve. Not trying harder to stay in contact.” His voice becomes softer, more solemn as he speaks. Dean can pick up the scents of regret and guilt under the flavors of dinner and it makes him stop, turn to his friend.

“Hey,” he says, reaching across the counter and taking Cas’s hand. “It takes two to end a friendship. And you were busy with a new baby, starting a new life. I should have worked harder, should have been there when you needed me.”

Cas smiles up at Dean, squeezing his hand. “You’re always there when I need you. Just like now.”

The bitterness is gone, replaced with a soft and pleased scent and Dean almost leans forward, wanting to drown in it. 

Then his phone rings.

He and Cas stare at each other, the phone trilling on the counter just a few feet away. Cas’s nose crinkles. “Are you gonna get that?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” Dean says, shaking himself out of the trance. He reaches for the phone and spins back to the stove to flip the burgers. “Hello?”

“How was dinner?” Brady asks on the other end. 

“Dinner is… coming along.”

“Wait. Are you still there?”

Dean pulls a platter down from a cabinet and starts transferring the burgers out of the pan. “Uh, yeah. I got off work late and didn’t have time to prep everything there. But the burgers are almost done and things should be all set in about… _five minutes_.” He directs the last part at Cas who starts to gather plates and silverware. 

“What time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Not sure yet. Depends on how long Callie can stand me.” He slides Cas a look who just laughs.

“Having a hard time getting along with the kid?”

“She definitely has her father’s attitude, that’s for sure,” he jokes and earns himself a slap to the side of the head. “That was fair.”

“What?” Brady asks.

“Oh, sorry it was Cas.”

“Oh. And how is Cas doing?”

Dean starts scooping the fries out of the grease and drowns them in a mix of seasonings. “He’s good.” He watches Cas moving around the kitchen, catching his smile and it’s like the two of them just can’t stop smiling. “Really, really good. I can’t wait for the two of you to meet.”

Brady’s voice is slow to respond and it seems off, a little stilted. “Yeah, me too. Tell him I say hi. And bring me home a burger.”

“Will do.”

“Okay. You guys have a good dinner. Don’t be too late.”

“All right, babe. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The call ends and Dean starts assembling the burgers, layering each one with cheese, tomato, caramelized onions, and his special garlic mayonnaise. “Wait, does Callie like cheese?” he asks, his hands freezing as he contemplates. “It’s just gouda but I can use like a light cheddar or a— Cas?” He turns when there’s no response and finds Cas staring at him, stack of plates in his hands. “Cas? Did you hear me?”

“Who was that?” Cas asks.

“Huh? Oh, that was Brady. He said to tell you hi. Cheese?” he asks again. 

“Oh, yes. She’ll like it.” Cas comes to stand next to Dean, shoulders brushing as Dean put the final touches on the burgers and began dishing out fries. “Uh, how—how is he?”

“Who, Brady? He’s great. He’s been busy with the mayor’s office lately.”

“He works with the mayor?”

“He works for the city’s department of education. They’re negotiating a new school downtown with this charter system. School board’s not happy but the city council is all excited. The usual.”

“Wow,” Cas breathes. “Sounds extremely stressful.”

“You have no idea,” Dean chuckles. “He’s good at what he does though. He’ll make it work.”

“You sound proud of him,” Cas observes.

Dean smiles. “I am. He’s a great guy. I’m lucky to have found him.” Sometimes Dean doesn’t even know how it happened. He and Brady came from such different worlds it was a miracle they were ever even in the same room. But somehow it happened and Dean’s never been happier. 

Cas seems to watch him go through his mental process and he smiles, small and careful. “He’s not the only one whose lucky.”

The compliment turns Dean’s face red even as his stomach aches. Flattery from Cas was always the weirdest kind of high, short-lived and followed by a swift and merciless drop that reminded him that no matter how great Cas said he was, Dean was never great enough for him. So Dean laughs it off and bumps his shoulder into Cas’s. “You charmer. C’mon, I’ve got a kid to feed before she tries to eat me.”

Callie’s stoic expression melts away the second she sees the food. She hops in her chair, mouth practically drooling as she grabs for her burger.

“Callie,” Cas says, lowly. “What do you say first?”

“Oh, uh, thank you for dinner, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean grins. “No problem, kiddo. Dig in. And it’s just Dean.”

Callie needs no more invitation and bites into her food, cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk. She makes a hilarious picture as she processes all the flavors, eyes rolling back in her head and making happy little noises that remind Dean of Cas.

He leans toward Cas. “She eats like you.”

Cas swats at him. “Don’t start. My parents tell me all the time.”

They spend the next few minutes just enjoying their meal, no need for conversation as they try to satisfy the rumbling in their stomachs. 

“This is amazing, Dean,” Cas says after a while, his burger completely demolished. “You really outdid yourself.”

Dean gives a humbled shrug. “I do what I can.”

Cas rolls his eyes as he pops a french fry in his mouth. “Just take the compliment.” He looks at his daughter with a disappointed smile. “Uncle Dean has never been great at accepting praise.”

“Classic lack of self-esteem,” she chirps and Dean bawks.

“Excuse me?”

Cas throws his head back and laughs. “Sorry. She spent a little too much time with her Aunt Anna when we were in Washington.”

“Was Anna giving her psych 101 lessons?”

Cas shrugs. “Callie found it interesting.”

“Only your kid,” Dean chuckles. “So Callie, did you like dinner?” He looks at her empty plate with a grin.

She pushes out her best frown and gives a shrug. “It was okay.”

She loved it, Cas mouths when Dean looks to him for translation. 

“Well, I’ll do better next time,” Dean promises her. “What things do you like? What are the kids into these days?” He says it in his best old man impression and hears Cas snort. 

Callie shrugs again. “Nothing much,” she grumbles. 

“No special movies or music?” Dean tries again.

She shakes her head.

“Callie is actually really into cowboys right now,” Cas speaks up for her. “They did a unit on the gold rush at school a few months ago and she hasn’t been able to stop talking about the wild west ever since.”

That news makes Dean perk up. “Oh, really? Seen any good movies?”

Again, she just shakes her head. Cas offers an apologetic smile that Dean waves off. He remembers being young and meeting new adults. It was always a little weird when big people you don’t know start asking you about your life when you barely understand anything about yourself. 

“Well, if you’re ever interested in seeing some, I have a big collection at home. It’s my favorite genre.” 

She doesn’t respond, not even a meek not. Instead, she looks to her dad. “May I be excused?”

Cas gives a defeated laugh. “Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you, Callie,” Dean says as she climbs out of her seat.

“Uh-huh,” she mumbles back before disappearing down the hall. 

“Well,” Dean drawls once she’s gone, “that went well.”

“She doesn’t make it easy,” Cas admits. “But thank you for trying.”

Dean stands and starts collecting plates. “She’s a kid. She’s supposed to make things difficult. Plus, I’m a stranger. She’ll warm up to me.” He says it with a wink.

Cas just arches a brow. “Confident, aren’t we?”

“What can I say? People love me.” He carries the dishes into the kitchen and stacks them by the sink. 

“Don’t you even think of doing the dishes,” Cas calls just as Dean’s about to turn on the water. Cas comes in a moment later with their drinking glasses and a knowing look. “Some things never change.”

“It comes with the territory of being a chef.”

“Well, you’re not Chef Dean here. You’re Dean, my friend and guest,” Cas says, snatching a plate from Dean’s hand. “And I will do the dishes.”

“How about you wash, I dry?” Dean proposes.

Cas purses his lips in consideration before nodding. “A fair compromise.”

They wash in silence, occasionally bumping into each other. Together, they have everything done in minutes and Dean finds himself a little disappointed. But night has fallen outside and he knows Brady is probably waiting up. 

“I guess I should get going,” he says as he puts the last cup away.

Cas dries his hands on a towel and agrees with a tight smile. “I guess so.”

He walks Dean to the door. Dean wraps him in a tight hug, breathing in his scent as deep as he can without being creepy. “I still can’t completely believe you’re here,” he says.

“It does feel rather surreal,” Cas says.

Dean pulls back. “Well, hey, good luck with work tomorrow. Text me next time you’re free and maybe we can go do something. Hit up some of the old spots.”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks for coming, Dean.”

Dean opens the door and steps out. “‘Night, Cas.”

“Yeah. Good night.”


	4. Chapter 4

***Eight Years Ago***

Everything smells sterile and like nothing. It’s not the normal mix of pheromones and body odors they grow used to over time and it’s downright unsettling. 

Dean frowns through another breath through his nose, catching no scents. He can’t even smell Cas thanks to the scent suppressing spray that had greeted them at the door. 

“This place gives me the creeps,” he whispers while they sit in the waiting area. 

“I think I have to agree,” Cas whispers back. “I can’t smell you.”

“Yeah, I hate it.”

The woman sitting at the front desk calls for them then. “Dr. Novak?”

Cas releases a shaky breath. He’s nervous and trying so hard to hide it. Dean grabs his hands and gives what he hopes is a comforting squeeze. “It’s okay, Cas. This is just the first step. If you don’t find anyone you like, we’ll go somewhere else. This isn’t a commitment.”

Cas’s cool fingers squeeze back. “Thank you.”

They stand together and approach the desk. Dean hangs back a bit to let Cas handle it.

“I’m Castiel Novak, this is my friend, Dean Winchester. He’s, uh, he’s coming with me for the appointment.”

The receptionist smiles. “No problem, this happens all the time.” She fishes under the desk and pulls out a plastic cup. “You two will go into one of our private rooms. Just make sure Mr. Winchester deposits into the cup and puts it—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dean stutters, face going bright red. “I-I’m not here to, we’re not- he’s-”

“Dean’s not the donor,” Cas says, much more put together than Dean. “He’s just a friend here to… help me choose.”

“Oh, I see. I apologize for the mistake. It’s just… you would make an ideal alpha for donation.” Her eyes travel up and down Dean carefully, as if scanning him for imperfections and if her smile at the end is anything to go by, she doesn’t find any. She picks up a brochure and pushes is across the desk. “In case you change your mind.”

Before Dean can even react, Cas snatches the brochure and drops it back on the receptionist’s side of the desk. “Well, he’s not interested. He’s here to help me. So if we could get the registry or whatever it is now, that would be great.” And he ends it will a smile sharp enough to cut glass.

In just a few minutes, Dean and Cas are in a room with a doctor, going through an online library of potential donors. The doctor points out ones that maybe wouldn’t be a good match genetically with Cas due to chances of illnesses or other factors that could harm the baby. Dean points out the ones who look like raving knotheads.

“His photo is literally a shirtless mirror pic in a gym bathroom, Cas. You don’t want your future kid turning out like that guy.”

Cas laughs. “He’s very good looking though.”

“So was Ted Bundy. Would you choose his sperm?”

Cas’s laugh turns into a snort and he covers his mouth before swatting at Dean’s arm. He sends the doctor an apologetic look. “I apologize for my friend.”

The doctor, an older woman with no scent and warm eyes, just grins between the two. “It’s quite all right. I’m glad you brought someone with you. It makes this a much nicer experience.”

They go back to flipping through the alpha library and Dean turns his nose at each one.

“Too tall, your kid will look like Sammy.”

“Does that say his interests include NASCAR? Absolutely not.”

“What the hell is parkour?” 

“Is he wearing a Mumford and Sons shirt?”

“She plays the harmonica, Cas, no way in hell.”

“Looks like they have exactly two brain cells left.” 

“That’s definitely a prison tattoo.”

“Dean!” Cas eventually cries, clearly at the end of his rope. “You have to be somewhat okay with at least one of these donors.”

Dean throws his hands up in exasperation. “You told me you wanted me to be honest, Cas! And honestly? I’m sorry, but none of these alphas are good enough for you!”

He sees the doctor perk up from the corner of his eye and bites his own lip. Clearly, he’s giving away a little too much. But whatever he’s revealed, Cas doesn’t pick up on it. 

“And I appreciate you setting such high standards for me,” Cas says. “But I need you to be reasonable. I’m not marrying this person. I don’t even have to ever meet them. All I’m looking for is the sperm of someone with good genes and maybe a nice jawline if that’s not too much to ask. Please, Dean?”

Dean rolls his eyes and sinks further into his chair. “Okay. I’ll try to be less picky.”

“Thank you,” Cas says with deep sincerity. He flips to the next profile but Dean’s barely paying attention, too many images of a pregnant Cas in his mind. He’ll be so beautiful with a swollen stomach and probably grumpy as hell. Cas now can barely manage with a minor inconvenience. He can’t imagine how unbearable he’ll become once he’s laden with the extra weight of a developing person and all the stress and horrors that come with pregnancy. 

Dean smiles. God, he’ll be an absolute nightmare.

“You like this one? Dean?”

Dean sits up when he feels Cas hit his knee. Cas is staring at the screen, his head tilted. “He’s good looking,” Cas says as he studies the profile. “Nice jaw, blue eyes. Originally from England. Says he’s a literature professor at Northwestern. That’s rather impressive. How is he medically?” Cas asks the doctor.

She leans forward to view the profile. “Hmm, Sebastian ‘Balthazar’ Roche? No chronic medical conditions, no family history of any either. Blood work came back clean. I’d say he’s a strong match.”

Dean doesn’t know why but he feels betrayed by the doctor and shoots her a dark look that she just smirks at. 

“What do you think, Dean?”

Dean resists sighing and leans close enough to get a good luck at the guy. He’s pretty standard, blonde hair, blue eyes. His smile is kind of cocky and Dean doesn’t like it. But the rest of his profile is impressive and definitely seems like the kind of person Cas would end up with in real life if he met the guy at a bar. 

“Dean?”

“He— uh.” Dean clears his throat. “He seems like a good one, Cas. Handsome, in good shape, smart. His name is weird as hell but it sounds like you’ll have a little baby genius on your hands. It’s perfect.”

Cas smiles, small and easy and glances back at the screen. “Perfect,” he repeats. He looks up at the doctor. “I think I found my donor.”

Dean doesn’t leave the clinic quite the same.


	5. Chapter 5

“So at which point… _oh my god this is so good_… but, uh, when do you — _seriously, what kind of cheese is this?_ — plan to tell him how you feel?”

Dean watches as his friend Charlie chews her sandwich, her eyes closed, and smiles bemusedly. “What do you mean? And it’s jalapeno mango cheddar.” 

She takes another few bites, moaning her appreciation, then finally swallows and seems to finally remember her question. “I mean Cas. When are you going to tell him that you’re hopelessly in love with him?”

Dean sends Charlie an exasperated look as he reaches into the fridge for two beers. “I thought we were past this, Charlie.”

“We were,” Charlie says, licking her fingers. “But then he moved back and you’ve been acting funny. Dude, kinda early isn’t it?” she asks when Dean slides her a bottle.

He takes a long swig. “It’s my day off; it’s whatever time I want it to be. And I haven’t been acting funny.”

“You smile more.”

Dean scowls. “No, I don’t. Look, am I glad Cas is back? Hell yeah. Ecstatic even. But I was perfectly happy before he got here.”

“Sure, Jan.”

The scowl turn into unimpressed disappointment. “Really?”

Charlie shrugs her shoulders, sending her red hair over her back. “I’m not the one in denial of my feelings.”

“Charlie, stop,” Dean says, tone serious. “What I had for Cas was a long time ago. But I’m with Brady now and he’s a good guy.” Charlie snorts and Dean frowns at her. “Stop doing that, he’s good to me. So the way I see it—” he pauses to take another drink “—I have a great boyfriend, a great new best friend,” he says and gestures to Charlie, “and now my old best friend is back. I’ve got everything I could possibly need.”

Charlie rolls her eyes again but seems to admit defeat. “Fine. I’ll let it go for now. But this conversation is not over.”

“Of course it’s not,” Dean grumbles. 

Dean’s phone starts to vibrate then and he takes the out that’s sent by god. Of course it starts to feel less like a blessing when he reads the name on the screen. He pushes the green icon and lifts the phone to his ear. “Hey, Cas.”

Charlie starts to snicker and Dean turns his back on her.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas responds. 

“What’s up, man?”

“I’m sorry to call out of the blue, but I had a favor to ask.”

“Sure, man, shoot.”

“I was wondering if you could pick Callie up from school and bring her to the museum? I had a meeting come up suddenly and won’t be able to make it in time.”

Dean’s sad to admit the thought of being alone with Callie gives him a slight sense of dread. But it’s for Cas. “Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. When do I need to be there?”

“School gets out at three.”

Dean glances at the clock on the microwave. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Dean. Look, I gotta get going. I’ll call the school and let them know you have permission to get Callie. They’ll ask for your ID. And there will be two tickets waiting for you at the front desk. Just wander around until I get done, okay?”

“Well don’t be too long or I might actually learn something.”

“I’ll see you soon, Dean,” Cas says with a chuckle and hangs up.

When Dean looks up Charlie is grinning at him. “What?”

She holds her hands up. “I didn’t say anything.”

“But your face—”

The front door opens a moment later and they hear, “Dean? Are you home?”

“In here, babe,” Dean calls then sends a challenging look at Charlie.

Brady’s fresh earthy scent wafts in before him. He smiles as he takes in the scene of Dean and Charlie standing in the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Dean says at the same time Charlie says, “Dean’s babysitting.”

Brady frowns. “What?”

Dean pulls him into a hug and kisses the side of his neck. “Cas just called and asked if I could pick Callie up and bring her the museum ‘cause he’s got a meeting.”

“Oh. And there’s no one else who could do it?” Brady asks, leaning into Dean’s chest. “I was hoping we could do something on your day off.”

Dean grimaces and moves his lips up to the bolt of Brady’s jaw. “I know, babe. But Cas doesn't have any other friends or family in the area. It shouldn’t take long though. I’m just taking her to Cas then I’ll be back and we can… have some us time.”

Brady’s scent spikes with something sweet when Dean whispers in his ear and he can feel the beta shivering in his hold. 

“I’m still here, you know.”

They both look up at Charlie whose leaning back in her chair, arms crossed in front of her. Brady coughs and separates himself from Dean. “Sorry, Charlie. Well, you should probably get going. School is getting out soon.”

Dean presses one more kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. C’mon, Charlie, I’ll walk you down.”

“Right behind you, boss!”

Getting to Callie’s school is a bit of a nightmare because it’s in the midst of downtown, some preppy private school Brady had helped Cas apply for. It’s a far cry from the public school Dean had attended as a kid but he supposes this is what’s best for the kids these days. Elitism and impractical expectations. 

Like Cas said, he had to give his ID to the receptionist who verified him. He can’t help but lift a brow at how easy it is.

“You’re already in the file,” is the only explanation he gets from the receptionist before she makes a call for Calliope Novak. 

Callie comes trotting down the steps a few minutes later and he sees the way her body kind of deflates when she sees him and tries not to take it personally. 

“Where’s my dad?” she asks, green eyes dark with suspicion.

“He had a meeting at work. Asked me to come get you and bring you to the museum.”

Her big eyes roll around in barely contained irritation and she looks so much like her father, Dean can’t help but grin. “Fine,” she sighs and starts toward the front door. Yeah, definitely a mini Cas. And so Dean follows.

The museum is just a few blocks away so they decide to walk. Callie is always a few steps ahead and walks with an unsettling amount of confidence for a seven-year-old. She’s quiet and it’s awkward and Dean kind of just wants to let it stay that way. But there’s another voice telling him to be a damn adult and talk to the kid. 

“So... how was school?” he tries as they’re passing through a park. 

“Fine,” Callie says. Short and simple. 

Strike one.

He gives it another shot. “Anything interesting happen?”

“Nope.”

Strike two. 

What else do you ask a little kid? What do they worry about? School, playing, food?

“Bet lunch had to be good. At a fancy school like that.”

To his surprise, Callie snorts. “They gave us rectangular pizza and corn.”

And well, that’s definitely something Dean can talk about. “They still serve that stuff?”

“Yes. Dad says regardless of how advanced the education, schools will never care enough to properly feed students because they benefit from the lethargy.”

Now, Dean snorts. “Definitely sounds like your dad.”

Callie slows down enough so they’re side by side and looks up at Dean. “You’ve known him for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Who? Your dad?” She nods. “Yeah, I guess. It’s been over twelve years.”

She wrinkles her nose. “That’s like… forever.”

Dean tries to look offended. “Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to call me old?”

“Well, you kind of are.”

“Wow. Cold and to the point. Another thing you clearly get from your dad.”

And maybe he’s crazy but he thinks he catches the edge of a smile. 

Callie looks ahead and the museum looms in front of them. They climb the steps and reach the front desk.

“Uh, hi. I’m Dean Winchester and this is Callie Novak,” Dean introduces them. Callie offers a small wave. “I think we should have two tickets from Dr. Novak?”

The attendant reaches under his desk and pulls the tickets out, passing them to Dean with a brochure of the museum. “Enjoy.”

Dean and Callie wander into the front lobby, steps echoing off the squeaky clean floors. Dean turns the brochure over and skims through it. “Anything you’re particularly excited to see?”

Callie shakes her head. 

“Well, your dad is in charge of the ancient Greece section,” he says, eyes still scanning until he sees something that makes him grin. “But I see a wild west exhibit on here that I think deserves a little attention.” 

He shows the images to Callie who immediately lights up, eyes wide and almost disbelieving and he knows he has her. “What do you say, partner?” he asks, forcing his best southern drawl.

She looks at him with hard, determined eyes. “Let’s do it.”

The exhibit turns out to be super cool. They explore an old train cart and read about the gold rush. There are mannequins dressed in cowboy garb complete with boots and hats and Callie stares up at them with abject fascination. 

“You ever had one?” Dean asks, trying to keep his voice low as to not disturb other guests. “The hat?”

Callie shakes her head, still mesmerized by the mannequin. 

“I did when I was little. Had matching boots and a belt with plastic pistols. Used to run all over the house shooting at my little brother.”

“That sounds mean,” Callie says.

Dean waves her off. “He had it coming. I wanted to be just like Billy the Kid.”

“Wasn’t he a bad guy?”

Dean shrugs. “I think that’s up to the individual. He did some bad things but I don’t know if that necessarily makes him a bad person.”

Callie is looking at him thoughtfully while Dean speaks and then looks back at the cowboy. “He was complicated.”

Dean hums, impressed by her critique. Definitely Cas’s kid. “Most people are.”

They wander into a little saloon built near the rear of the exhibit complete with weathered wooden floorboards and a scuffed-up bar. They claim two seats and Dean orders them two root beers. The silence is oddly comfortable as they sit and drink and observe the fine details of the setup. 

“I had a best friend,” Callie says out of nowhere and Dean gives her his full attention. “In Washington.”

“What was their name?”

“Bailey. She used to braid my hair in the mornings. Dad isn’t very good at braids.”

Dean nods his head as he listens. “You must miss her a lot.”

Callie looks at him, eyes wide and sincere. “Yeah.” And it’s just one word but Dean can sense all the unspoken emotion behind it. She goes back to sipping her drink.

“Well, kiddo, I know it’s not easy to lose a friend like that. But I’m sure you’ll be able to stay in contact with her. I mean, all these apps and stuff these days. Can’t you just Snapbook her or something?”

Callie eyes him with pure unadulterated judgment and disappointment. “Do you mean Snapchat?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“I’m too young for that,” she says like it should be obvious but she’s starting to smile.

Dean shrugs. “Well, maybe one day then. In the meantime, you’re going to make a bunch of new friends here. And if you need someone to braid your hair, just call me.”

“You know how to braid?”

“I’ll watch a Youtube tutorial.”

Her eyes light up and she starts to giggle, and it’s soft and sweet and makes Dean laugh too.

“I should have known I’d find you two here,” a deep voice says behind them and Dean and Callie turn on their stools to find Cas, arms crossed over his chest and lips curved in a bemused grin. “What’s got you both so tickled?”

“It’s nothing, Daddy,” Callie says and smiles down at her drink.

“Yeah, we’re just bonding,” Dean says and takes a sip from his mug.

Cas’s brow arches even higher. “Uh-huh, sure. Well, if you’re done bonding, I thought we could go grab dinner. My treat to thank you for getting Callie today.”

Dean slides his new friend a look. “What do ya say, partner? Ready for some grub?”

Callie nods excitedly. “Let’s eat! Partner,” she adds with a wink and slides off her stool. 

Dean grins so wide he feels his jaw pop and then laughs when he catches Cas’s shocked expression. “Really? I leave her with you for a couple hours and now she’s the little girl in True Grit?” he whispers as they follow Callie out of the saloon.

“Bonding,” Dean just grins.

Cas rolls his eyes. “I should have known better.”

Dean laughs and bumps his shoulder into Cas’s. “How was your meeting?” All the amusement in Cas’s face disappears and Dean frowns. “Cas? Is everything okay?”

Cas nods and keeps his eyes ahead where Callie is skipping down the museum corridor. “Yeah. I, uh, I met Callie’s donor father.”

Dean perks up, feels a brutal twisting in his lower stomach. “What? _Why?”_

“It’s something I’ve been contemplating for a while. And when I realized we were moving back to the city I decided to give him a call so we met today.”

Dean has no idea how to process this information or if he even wants to. “Oh. Well, what happened?”

Cas shrugs. “We talked about Callie and about our lives. He wants to meet her.”

“I thought the point of the insemination was to not involve an alpha.”

“I know,” Cas says and he sounds tired, like this has been weighing on him for a while. “But Callie started asking questions a couple years ago and this felt like the right thing. He’s a nice guy.” 

“Well, are you gonna let him meet her?”

Cas sighs and runs a hand down his face. “I don’t know. I think so. It just… feels like the right thing. She wants to know who her other father is and Balthazar can answer things for her that I can’t. I just don’t know. What do you think?”

Dean tries to keep his expression neutral and decides to take the safe route and shrug his shoulders.

“Really?” Cas grumbles. “That’s all you have for me? A shrug?”

“What do you want me to say, Cas?” Dean challenges. “She’s your kid. It’s your decision.”

That doesn’t seem to be the answer Cas is looking for either. Dean sighs and tries to draw on some energy he really doesn’t have. 

“Look, I was with you through the whole process. You never would have picked someone you thought wouldn’t be good for your child. And you have good judgement. So if you really think introducing Callie to her donor father is for the best and you say he’s a good guy, then do it.”

The smile that forms is small and grateful and shakes Dean like a warm gust of wind. “Thanks, Dean. That means a lot.”

“‘Course, man. Well, look, I gotta get home to Brady.”

Cas’s smile turns upside down. “You’re not coming to dinner with us?”

Dean tries to smile apologetically rather than look like a man running for the hills. “Sorry but it’s my only day off this week and we haven’t had a lot of time together, ya know?”

Cas doesn’t hide his disappointment very well and Dean feels bad because he wants to spend time with his friend too, but he’s got a boyfriend at home. “Oh, yeah. Sure. I understand.”

“You know, you two should come over for dinner some time. I’d really like you to meet Brady, get to know each other.”

Cas smirks. “And, what, give my blessing?”

“I stopped asking for that a long time ago after what you said to Lisa,” Dean says and wriggles his brows. “But for real, I think you two will get along. And I need the two most important men in my life to at least know each other.”

For a hot second, Cas doesn’t respond and Dean starts to worry he didn’t hear. Before Dean can repeat his question, Cas snaps back to life, eyes earnest and smile in place. “I’d be delighted to meet him. Just give us a date and time. Callie, come say bye to Dean.”

Callie trots back to them, her eyes confused. “You’re not coming to eat with us?”

Dean squats to her level. “Sorry, kiddo, but I gotta get home before I get booted to the couch for the night. Thanks for a fun afternoon though. We should do this again sometime. Maybe y’all can come over for dinner at my place.”

Callie nods her head in agreement. “I’ll check my schedule.”

Dean chuckles. “Call me when you’re free. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“All right. Bye, Uncle Dean.”

He ruffles her hair on his way back up and smiles at her dad. “Talk to you soon.”

“Of course. Thank you, again, for today.”

Dean waves him off. “Any time, man.”

Dean walks away as fast as he can without being too obvious, trying to will away the rising sickness in his stomach that shouldn’t be there in the first place.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey! Come on in, make yourselves at home!”

Dean stands back as Cas and Callie slip inside, and closes the door behind them. 

“Whoa,” Callie whispers, eyes roaming the open floor plan with open wonder. “Is that your TV?”

Dean peers at the slick flat monstrosity taking up an inordinate amount of wall space. “That’s one word for it. You can go check it out. Got every channel and subscription under the sun. Just stay off the HBO, kid.”

Callie’s whole body shakes for a moment before she’s off like a rocket, diving into the couch and wielding the remote like it’s the lost sword Excalibur. Dean can’t help his laugh before looking over at her father whose studying the apartment much like his daughter, eyes sharp and critical but a little searching. Dean understands why. The apartment doesn’t reflect much of him and it’s clear to anyone who really knows Dean. In fact, the whole place was Brady’s design with a few subtle contributions from Dean. It was a little… modern for his tastes but it was still home. 

“It’s a nice place,” Dean says feeling a need to defend it and not understanding why. 

Cas whistles. “Certainly a step up from your studio in Rogers Park.”

“Hey, it had a lot of charm.”

“Oh is that what we’re calling asbestos now?” Cas asks dryly. He looks around again. “Where’s Brady?”

“Uh, he had something come up at work so he’ll be a little late.” It happens pretty often and Dean knows it’s out of Brady’s control — and lord knows he’s had his fair sure of spontaneous late nights and last-minute emergencies. Dean shakes it off. “Come keep me company in the kitchen. Dinner’s almost done.”

Cas sheds his jacket and follows Dean to the kitchen, the only room Dean had had full control of. Brady isn’t much of a cook.

“Oh my god,” Cas breathes as he seats himself at the island, hands roaming the granite counter. “It’s like your culinary school wet dream come to life.”

Dean laughs, cheeks heating, and takes his place at the stove. “Shut up.”

“No, really. Didn’t you have a photo of that exact pot rack hanging over your bed?”

“You’re the worst.”

“Is that a _Williams Sonoma wine aerator?_” 

Dean throws his head back and groans and Cas busts out laughing. He stirs the sauce a few seconds before looking over his shoulder and waving the wooden spoon threateningly. “It was a gift.”

Cas’s eyes are sparkling with mirth but he raises his hands in surrender. “If you say so.”

“You’re such a—”

There’s a cry from the living room. “Uncle Dean!” Both he and Cas look across the apartment and see Callie standing over by the bookshelves. “Look at all these cowboy movies!”

Cas’s eyes roll back. “Here we go,” he groans even as Dean smirks.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he says cockily, switching off the stove, “I gotta tend to that there yonder buckaroo.”

“Get away from me immediately,” Cas says with disgust. 

“I wager we’ll be havin’ dinner just soon as that bread in der gits done, partner.” 

Cas throws a dish towel at the back of his head. “That didn’t even make sense.”

Dean crosses over to Callie who's already tearing titles off the shelves and studying the artwork of each DVD. “Whose this?” she asks, holding a glowering man up to his face.

“That, little lady, is the one and only god among men Josey Wales.”

Callie studies him. “Is he a real cowboy?”

Dean looks at her seriously. “One of the greatest to ever live.”

“Is he your favorite?” 

“One of them. I like anything with Clint Eastwood though.”

“Because he’s had a crush on him since he was nine,” Cas calls from the kitchen.

Dean shoots him a dirty look. 

They continue geeking out together, going through his entire collection. Dean points out all his favorites and the ones that disappointed. They argue over the greats and her green eyes practically glow with vindication when Dean finally concedes. It makes his whole heart swell.

Cas watches the entire exchange from the couch. Dean catches his smile a few times, a small thing that says more than a toothy grin ever could and Dean feels warmer in the apartment than he has in the years he’s lived here.

Eventually, they move the conversation to the dining room table. 

“The True Grit remake was not better than the original!”

“It was much better written and visually appealing!” Callie argues back.

“Well, yeah, because it was made nine years ago! That doesn’t make it better! Besides, Westerns are supposed to look grainy and old. It’s part of the nuance.” 

“Can someone pass the bread?” Cas asks meekly. 

“Jeff Bridges was a better Rooster.”

Dean guffaws. “First of all, Jeff Bridges could never be better than John Wayne. At anything. Second of all, I—”

It’s then that the front door opens and Brady hustles inside. “Hey, baby, sorry I’m—” He pauses when he comes upon the table, eyes going between Dean and Callie who are leaning toward each other with intense eyes, between them a helpless Castiel sipping his wine like a lifeline. 

Dean smiles up at Brady. “Oh, hey babe,” he greets before turning his eyes to Callie, brow arched. “We’ll continue this later?” She nods and they leave it there.

Dean stands and properly greets his boyfriend, kissing the corner of his mouth, before taking his hand and pulling him closer to the table for introductions. “Brady, this is my best friend from college, Cas, and his daughter, Callie. Cas, Callie, this is my boyfriend, Brady.”

Brady wears his winning smile as he offers his hand to Cas who shakes it. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Brady greets. “Dean’s been talking about you both nonstop.”

Cas returns the smile, small and polite. “Likewise. I’ve been so curious to meet the man who could finally snag eternal bachelor Dean Winchester.”

Brady chuckles warmly, taking his hand back and wrapping it around Dean’s waist. “It wasn’t easy but what can I say?” He presses a kiss to the bolt of Dean’s jaw whose flushed pink at the attention. “I’m nothing if not determined.” 

Dean gets Brady settled with wine and a plate of food. “How was your day, babe?” he asks as he settles next his boyfriend. 

It startles him a bit when Brady moves his chair closer, thigh pressed against Dean’s and their shoulders brush. “Nothing special. Trying to get everything prepared for a new school opening on the east side.”

“Oh, that new K-8 you told me about?”

Brady nods and sips his wine. “The city planner is putting us through the ringer.”

“You’ll get it done,” Dean assures. “You always do.” He looks across the table at Cas who’s watching them with level eyes, and decides to veer the conversation a little. “You know, Cas enrolled Callie at South Loop.”

“The Montessori school?”

Dean looks at Cas who clears his throat before answering, “Yes, one of them.”

Brady arches a brow in consideration before taking a bite. “Interesting choice.”

Now it’s Cas’s turn to raise his eyebrows and Dean can scent the edge of something dangerous. “You don’t approve?”

“I just never personally understood the appeal of them,” Brady says with a shrug. “They get good results though. Decent test scores.”

“Well, school is more than testing quartiles,” Cas says, his voice tight and careful and the sour smell in the room is getting thicker.

Dean chuckles, pulling the two’s attention off each other. “Brady’s just used to the competitive side of education. All those private school nuns really did a number on you, right, babe?” he teases and nudges Brady’s shoulder. 

Brady doesn’t respond and when Dean looks at Cas, the omega is watching the dinner on his plate closely. So Dean turns to his last hope.

“You liking everything, Callie?”

“Dinner or school?” she asks without looking up.

Dean smiles. “Both.”

“Dinner is good but could use more vegetables. Daddy says you should have at least two with dinner every day.”

Dean snorts and looks at her dad, catching just the barest of smiles as he still looks at the table. “Yeah, well, your daddy was always a food snob.”

“I’m a food snob?” Cas finally looks up, his smile big and disbelieving. “This coming from the man who refused to eat fast food while in culinary school?”

“Why would I pay to eat something I can make for myself and make it twenty times better?”

“Mmhmm, but what did you have for lunch last weekend?”

Dean’s eyes narrow but Cas just looks at him with a challenge, lips twitching to fight back a grin. He sighs, and finally admits, “Taco Bell.”

“Thank you for your honesty,” Cas says, smile far too sweet for someone who just threw their best friend under the bus and Dean shakes his head at him.

“Did you two get lunch together?”

The question pulls Dean’s attention and he looks at Brady who’s watching him closely. “Uh, yeah, I met Cas during my lunch break last week. Just grabbed a quick bite.”

“Oh.” It’s all he says and Dean doesn’t know what to derive from that but starts to get the feeling that he’s in trouble. That feeling is verified a moment later when the scent of a bitter beta wafts softly from the seat next to him. 

Dean looks at Cas again, a question in his eyes, but Cas just shrugs and turns his attention to his daughter. 

A heavy silence falls over the table, jarring after the liveliness that had lifted the room just minutes ago. The sounds of silverware clinking against places and mouths chewing swell until Dean feels ready to snap and so he starts gathering plates and goes to fetch dessert.

It’s a simple chocolate and raspberry mousse. He sets a small bowl in front of everyone. He slips the one with extra whipped cream to Callie with a wink and the little girl smiles at him. 

“So, Cas,” Brady says suddenly, his voice quite low and even, “have you met anyone since you’ve moved back to town?”

The question almost makes Dean trip as he lowers himself back into his seat. Brady throws an arm over his shoulders as soon as he’s situated and it takes Dean a moment to lean into it. 

Cas watches the movement, his eyes eerily focused, and there’s an odd scent in the room. It’s subtle but there’s a weight to it that itches Dean’s nose. But before he can place it, it’s gone.

“Yes, actually,” Cas says, meeting Brady’s eyes. “I’ve been talking to Callie’s donor father.”

And for the first time that evening, Dean thinks Brady looks at the little girl at the head of their table. Huh. “Oh, so she’s… aware?”

Dean doesn’t miss the way Cas starts to bristle again and Dean reaches for Brady’s hand, squeezing. Brady meets his eyes as if to say what? But before Dean can warn him to stop, he hears Cas’s deep voice.

“Yes, Callie is aware of the circumstances of her birth. I saw no point in keeping it from her once she was old enough to start asking questions.”

If Brady can sense the danger in Cas’s voice he doesn’t react to it. “Well, that’s amazing. So what is the alpha like?”

“He’s a professor at Northwestern. We have a date next week.”

That turns Dean’s head because it’s news to him. “You have a date?” he and Callie ask at the same time. 

Cas nods. “Next Friday, actually. I’m quite excited. It’s my first one in a while.”

Dean can’t help but notice the way Callie sinks into her chair. He swallows around the disappointment forming in his own throat and musters up a smile. “Well… that’s great, Cas. I’m happy for you.”

Cas’s eyes bore into his. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Yes, Cas,” Brady tacks on, “I hope everything works out. Maybe the four of us can try a double date some time.”

“That sounds lovely, Brady.”

The mousse doesn’t taste quite as sweet after that.

Brady eventually excuses himself to his office, offering a quick goodbye to Cas and Callie, before disappearing down the hall. Cas helps Dean clean everything up while Callie curls up on the couch. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean says while he’s washing dishes, “about Brady. I don’t know why he was acting like that. I’ll talk to him.”

Cas just chuckles as he towel tries a bowl and goes to put it away. “It’s fine, Dean.”

“No, he was being rude. I know he’s usually tired and cranky this time of night but… he didn’t have to act like that. I’ll talk to him,” he promises again.

“Really, Dean, you don’t have to. I probably would have behaved the exact same way.”

Dean looks up from the soapy water. “What? Why?”

Cas shrugs, picking up another dish. “Territory. Where does this go?”

“Over the microwave,” Dean says, shaking his head at Cas’s response. “Territory? What the fuck does that mean?”

Cas rolls his eyes before rising on his tiptoes to slide the grinder into its rightful place. “I mean… if some strange omega that’s known my mate for almost half his life suddenly came back into the picture, was in our home, spending time with him, talking about the good times long before I knew him, sharing stories and jokes that I’m not aware of… I’d be a little upset.” Cas bites his lip, considering for a moment. “Actually, no. I’d be really upset. Maybe even threatened.” He shrugs one shoulder. “ And territorial.”

Dean frowns, beyond confused. “So being rude to you was, what, his way of marking me?”

“He’s just trying to protect what’s his. And I can’t blame him. How would you feel if some alpha he went to college with showed up out of nowhere and they were hanging out all the time?”

Dean tries to imagine it, and while he doesn’t glow with the thought of Brady out gallivanting with some strange alpha, it doesn’t necessarily bother him. Maybe part of it is because he’s had to grow used to Brady showing up with the scent of random alphas all over him. He met new people at work every day. “I don’t know. I trust Brady. He would never do anything to hurt me. And I would never hurt him either.”

The smile that curves Cas’s lips is extremely soft and almost wistful. “I know, Dean. Maybe make sure he knows that.”

He helps Cas gather Callie up whose completely conked out. He presses a gentle kiss to the little girl’s head and holds the door open.

“See you both soon,” he says quietly.

He closes the door behind them and leans against it. The quiet of the apartment builds around him, heavy brick by brick. But it doesn’t provide peace this time. 

No, it’s rather unsettling, in fact.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean moans into the kiss as Brady grinds in his lap. He runs his hands up and down the beta’s broad back, moving down to his ass. Brady bucks against him and nips at his bottom lip, shooting fire down Dean’s spine. 

“Mmm, babe,” Dean says into the kiss, drawing back for air. “Babe, maybe we should take this to the bedroom.”

They’ve been fooling around on the couch for more than ten minutes. It had taken some advanced planning but the two had finally managed to schedule a date night, just the two of them. Dean pulled some strings to get them into one of the rooftop bars downtown. It was almost too chilly to be eating outside but the place was warmed with fire pits and lamps so it had been pretty comfortable. 

Dean had dessert and wine waiting at home and he’d gotten that familiar thrill when Brady’s eyes darkened when Dean started lighting the candles.

Brady frames Dean’s face with his hands and kisses him deeply then softly. “I’ve missed you,” he breathes. “I missed this so much.”

“I know,” Dean whispers. “I’m sorry things have gotten so crazy.”

Brady shakes his head. “Not just you. We both lead pretty hectic lives.”

Dean hums in agreement and leans up to kiss under Brady’s jaw. “This was a good decision. This night has been amazing.”

“Yeah? Well it’s about to get better,” Brady promises, his voice getting deeper, sultry. The space in Dean’s pants gets tighter and Brady grins when he feels it. “Ready to go to bed?”

Dean growls and Brady laughs, jumping off his laugh and taking off down the hall to their bedroom. Dean is about to run after him when he hears his phone ring.

“Son of a…”

“Leave it!” Brady calls from the bedroom.

The phone stops after a moment and Dean takes a few steps toward the room when it starts again and he frowns. Two consecutive calls usually means something serious.

“Dean!” Brady calls again.

“One second, babe!” Dean yells back and hurries over to the phone.

“Dean, don’t you dare answer that—”

Whatever else he says goes unheard because Dean sees Cas’s name flash on his screen and immediately picks up. “Cas? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Dean, thank god,” Cas cries, making Dean’s heart nearly leap out of his chest. “It’s Callie.”

And now it feels like it’s ripping. “What happened? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine but she’s really sick. She’s staying at a friend’s house while Balth and I are in Minneapolis but Arianna’s mom just called and said Callie’s been throwing up and she’s crying. I’m so sorry because I’m sure you had plans tonight, but is there any way you can go get her and take her home?”

Dean’s already in motion, sliding his shoes and jacket on. “Yeah, Cas, of course. Just send me the address.”

He hears Cas breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. Callie has her own key to the apartment and I have all sorts of medicine in the cabinet. Just get her there so she’ll start to calm down and see what she needs. I’ll be on the next flight to O’Hare but it’s not until morning.”

“No problem. I’m on my way out now. I’ll call as soon as I have her home.”

“Thank you, Dean. You’re a lifesaver.”

The line goes dead and Dean starts to the bedroom to get a few things. 

“What took you—” Brady starts where he’s laid out on the bed but his words die in his throat when he sees Dean in his jacket. He frowns. “Are you going somewhere?”

Dean smiles apologetically and goes to fetch his duffle from the closet. “Callie is super sick at a friend’s house and Cas is out of town so he asked if I could go get her and take her home.”

“And you said yes?”

“What was I supposed to say? The kid is sick and upset and she wants to be home.”

Brady groans and flops back onto the bed. “And Castiel doesn’t know anyone else in this entire city who could do it instead?”

Dean shoves some sweats into the bag since it seems he’ll be staying overnight. “I don’t know, babe, maybe everyone else is busy?” He zips up the bag and turns around, pecking Brady on the lips. “Look, I’m sorry. I know it was supposed to be just us but Callie doesn’t deserve to be stuck at someone’s house puking her guts out. I mean, what if it was our kid?”

“Our kid?” Brady repeats.

“Yeah, wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for us?”

Brady sits up. “Where is this coming from? We’ve never discussed kids before.”

Dean frowns, not liking the edge to Brady’s voice. “Well, no, but don’t you want some? Eventually?”

“Dean, what are you talking about? I’ve never expressed an interest in kids.” 

“What do you—?”

Brady raises a hand, cutting him off. “This clearly is not the time. Go get Callie.”

Dean hesitates at the door, an instinct telling him to stay and figure this out now. But there’s a stronger instinct telling him to run out the door to the sick child who needs him. And that’s the one that wins.

“I’m sorry,” he calls one last time and races out of the apartment. 

He takes a car to the address Cas texted him. It’s about a fifteen-minute ride. 

Dean had known Cas and Balthazar were going away this weekend, he’d just assumed Callie would go with them. But he also gets why they’d wanted to have time alone. It’s been five months since they had their first date and they’ve been seeing each other steadily ever since. It was a tough pill for Dean to swallow at first and he’d admittedly been less than friendly when he’d first met the other alpha in person. But Cas was clearly happy so Dean just resigned himself to the inevitable and elected to dedicate all of his time and focus to Callie whenever he had to be around all three of them. It didn’t hurt that Callie herself seemed to prefer Dean to Balthazar, which he noted with great smugness. 

The car comes to a stop and Dean jumps out and tells the driver to wait. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The woman who opens the door when he knocks is looking rather frantic and the scent of sickness is heavy in the house. She leads him to the living room where it gets stronger until he sees a familiar dark head laid up on the couch, face pale and miserable.

He kneels in front of her, stroking her sweaty hair back from her face. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers, soothing her awake.

Her eyes blink open slowly and look at him like she can’t believe her eyes for a moment and then her chin starts to tremble. “Uncle D-Dean.”

Her arms snap around his head and Dean holds her back, close but not too tight. He rubs her back, soothing her as she sobs against him. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m taking you home, okay?”

He bundles her up in her coat and a blanket and then scoops her up into his arms. The mother brings her backpack and he slings it over his free arm. He offers a quick apology to the mother and promises to have the blanket returned. Then he’s dashing out to the car, trying to keep Callie out of the cold for too long. 

It’s another ten minutes to Cas’s apartment. Callie tucks herself into his side and he continues to soothe and pet her until she drifts off. 

She doesn’t wake up again until they’re in her home and Dean has her situated in her own bed, a cold rag on her head and trash cans on either side. He gets some medicine in her and takes her temperature because he knows Cas will want to know when he calls. 

Cas still sounds broken up on the phone but a lot better than the last call now that he knows his child is home safe. He thanks Dean about a hundred times and apologizes a thousand. 

“Cas, it’s okay, man,” he assures his best friend yet again. “Really.”

“I know, I just hate having to ask for help and interrupt your night.”

“Well, it’s what friends are for. You go get some sleep so you can get home on time tomorrow, okay? I got Callie.”

The next morning, Callie is like a changed person, all smiles and chatter. It must have been one of those twelve-hour bugs. She’s still pretty weak so Dean gets her set up in the living room where she can lay back and watch cartoons while he makes breakfast.

Cas comes busting through the door as they’re sitting next to each other, attacking a mountain of pancakes, cheeks bulging. 

He runs to his daughter, scooping her into his arms and squeezing the daylights out of her. It makes Dean smile. Callie whines but hugs him back. 

“I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

“I’m okay, Daddy. Uncle Dean took good care of me.”

Eventually Cas releases her and sits back. Dean holds his plate up and stands. “Pancakes?”

Cas follows him into the kitchen, dropping his back along the way. Dean goes about making him a plate while Cas leans against the counter, pushing his hands through his hair.

“Long night?” Dean asks. 

“Long everything,” Cas groans. “When did her fever break?”

“Around 4 a.m. Woke up starving and talking my ear off. Kid has a weird fascination with her own puke.” Dean wrinkles his nose.

Cas laughs. “Yeah, uh, sadly that’s been a constant throughout her childhood. Thank you again, Dean, for doing all this. You really have no idea how much it means to me.”

Dean waves him off and passes him the plate. “It’s cool, man. She’s a good kid. Plus, I figured you had to be pretty damn desperate to ask me to take care of her. Guess everyone else you called was busy?

Cas tilts his head and peers up at him, confused. “What do you mean? You were the first person I called.”

His words make Dean’s heart trip. “I was?”

“Of course,” Cas says like it should be obvious. “You’re like the only other adult in the city Callie can even stand. And you act like I don’t know that you practically raised Sam or forgot how you cared for me in college. I never doubted your ability to care for her.”

“Oh.” Dean looks down, not sure what to say, but feels something warm swelling in him. “Cool.”

Cas steps closer and rests his head on his shoulder. “You’re the best.”

Dean snorts. “Now you’re just buttering me up. Go eat your breakfast.”

Cas laughs and pulls away, taking the plate of pancakes with him. Before he gets too far he looks back at Dean and then picks at his shirt. “Are you wearing my clothes?”

Dean blushes bright red and rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, hope you don’t mind. I brought a change of clothes last night but Callie puked on them around midnight. Sorry.”

Cas doesn’t respond for a long moment and Dean worries that maybe Cas is one of those people who gets really weird about their clothes. When Cas looks up though he doesn’t look mad. In fact, his pupils are dilated and there’s a flush to his cheeks. He pulls on the shirt a little harder, voice pitching deeper when he says, “They look good on you.” 

Just like that, he releases Dean and returns to the living room. 

Dean stands in the middle of the kitchen, at a loss for words. What the ever loving fuck was that?


	8. Chapter 8

The elevator doors open and Dean and Brady step into what can only be described as utter chaos. The scent is what hits them first because it smells like a damn daycare, like youth and sugar cookies and pure energy. The sight strikes them next because it’s all very, _very_ pink.

“What in high hell,” Brady breathes as they move further into the apartment.

Dean adjusts the boxes in his hands, eyes roaming warily. “I have no idea.”

Somewhere in the distance they pick up on squealing and bright laughter and it leads them into the belly of the beast: a living room redecorated in wall-to-wall pink fabric and an army of a dozen or more little girls frollicking around in pajamas and positively screeching. There are adults moving around in fucking tuxes with gold serving trays of what looks like — fucking champagne? And hour d’oeuvres? And there in the back hanging from the high ceiling is a long banner proclaiming, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALLIE!

“What the ever loving fuck?” Dean breathes. 

Brady chuckles next to him. “This is far more elaborate than I expected.”

Dean snorts. “That’s one way to describe it.”

When Cas told him they were holding Callie’s birthday party at Balthazar’s apartment he’d been a little surprised. Balthazar lived in one of those highrises downtown. Not an area that exactly screams child friendly. Walking into the building just minutes ago, Dean couldn’t even imagine hosting a kid’s birthday party here. Especially when he knew for a fact — because she had told him multiple times — that Callie wanted a western themed party.

So how had it turned into… this?

Eventually they spot Cas and Balthazar and head over. As they get closer Dean can see Cas and Balthazar are engrossed in what looks like a rather heated conversation so he starts to back off. But then Cas looks up and catches him and for a moment he almost looks relieved. But then it’s gone and he’s smiling pleasantly and gesturing Dean and Brady forward.

“Uh, hey,” Dean says in greeting, unsure how to approach because he can pick up the sour stench between the other two adults. “Everything okay?”

“Of course,” Cas smiles. “Thank you both so much for coming.” 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Dean promises.

Cas just kind of stares at him for a moment before his eyes shift. “Hello, Brady.”

“Castiel,” Brady responds. There’s not much to it, not particularly friendly but also not directly hostile. “This place looks amazing.”

“Doesn’t it?” Balthazar finally chimes in, accent heavy and proud. “I thought the crew did a fantastic job.”

Brady nods. “Yes, it reminds me of my sister’s thirteenth birthday in Aspen when...”

The two run off in conversation and Dean looks at Cas, mouthing, crew? 

Cas rolls his eyes then angles his head. Dean nods and they slip away to the kitchen. Dean represses a whistle. He may not like the guy but Balthazar has a nice kitchen. 

“So…” he begins, trying to figure out how ask nicely but then just says fuck it, “what the fuck happened?”

Cas groans and runs his hands down his face. “I don’t even know. I told Balthazar that Callie wanted a cowboy western party and we were going to do it at the park but then he insisted on having it here and that he would take care of everything and somehow it turned into-into this!” Cas’s hands shoot up into the air, his voice booming, and Dean can smell the distress coming off of him. “And now my daughter is crying and won’t even talk to me and-and it’s her birthday and she’s miserable!”

He doesn’t hesitate to walk over and pull Cas to him, wrapping him tightly in his arms. Cas’s hands hand on his sides, squeezing his hips and Dean bends to nuzzle his neck in comfort. He smells heartbroken and Dean can’t stand it. “It’s going to be okay, Cas.”

“She hates me,” Cas says and pushes closer against Dean’s body. 

“No, no she doesn’t. She’s just upset. But we’re going to fix it,” Dean assures him. He pats his back and then pulls away before he tries to sink deeper into Cas’s warmth and refuses to leave. He offers his friend a smile. “Where is the birthday girl?”

Cas shows him to a quiet room on the other end of the apartment. Dean walks in with his gifts, picking up notes of anger and loneliness. He follows them back behind a chair and finds Callie sitting in a corner, knees pulled up to her chest.

“Hell of a party,” Dean says as greeting and squats down next to her.

Callie snorts and rests her face between her knees. “It’s hideous,” she groans.

“Yeah. It really is.”

“If you’re here to make me feel better, you’re not doing a great job,” Callie grumbles, face still hidden.

“Oh, you think I’m here for you? I was just trying to find a quiet place away from all that. Ya know, old age and all that. You seen your dad?”

Callie raises her head enough for Dean to see a scowl on her face. “He’s probably out there talking to him.”

“Him?”

“Balthazar,” she says and it’s dark and angry.

Dean arches a brow. “Oh. Not a fan, huh?”

“I know this is his fault. He knew what I asked for but he didn’t like it. Says I need to try to be girlier and now his living room looks like a vagina!”

Dean can’t help the laughter that barks out of him. “Okay, first of all, where did you- how do you- actually, never mind.” Dean shakes his head. Not going there. “Did you tell your dad? That he’s said those things to you?”

Callie shakes her head. “I don’t want him to be angry.”

Something breaks in Dean’s chest. “Oh, sweetheart.” He wraps an arm around Callie and pulls her close. “He could never be angry with you. Your dad loves you more than anything.”

“But he really likes Balthazar.”

Dean waves it off. “Balthazar, smalthazar. You’re Calliope Novak. His daughter. Who he has dreamt about long before you were even born. Trust me, I was there for all of it.”

She tilts her head back to frown at him. “You were?”

He nods, smiles. “Absolutely. I was the first person he told he wanted to have a baby and I was the first person he told when he found out he was pregnant with you. There is nothing and no one he would put before you, Callie. You can tell him anything and he will always love you the most.”

Callie stares at him for a long, long moment and it’s so reminiscent of the eye contact her father is notorious for and it makes him smile even more. “More than Balthazar?”

“Without a doubt.”

Her eyes get a twinkle in them. “Even more than you?”

Dean hisses, face scrunching up. “I’d say it’s close, but yeah. Even more than me.”

There’s something unreadable in her smile when it finally forms for the briefest of moments before it’s big and bright. Dean returns it and picks up his gift. 

“So, now that we’ve solved that, think you’re ready for a present?”

She eyes it with undisguised excitement. “Don’t I have to wait and open it with the others?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Look, kid, if you’re gonna be a real outlaw, you’re gonna have to learn to break a few rules.” He puts the box in her lap. “Open it.”

She hesitates for just a second and then rips the paper off and yanks the lid off. Dean laughs as she starts to wriggle, tearing out sheets of tissue paper until, finally, she reaches her prize and screams.

“Oh my god, oh my god, are you serious?” She pulls the hat out and just holds it in front of her, jaw dropping.

Dean laughs and reaches out to place the custom Stetson on her head. It dips a little on her forehead and she pushes it up, revealing a dazzling smile that makes his chest tighten. “Now that’s more like it.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Uncle Dean,” she cries and scrambles up to wrap him in a hug. 

“Anything for you, kiddo,” he says into her sweet-smelling hair. “What do you say we walk back out there and show them there’s a new sheriff in town?”

She squeals and jumps back. “Let’s go!”

“And, hey,” he says, catching her before she runs off. “Maybe go hug your dad?”

She nods, eyes flashing with understanding beyond her years. Too damn smart, Dean thinks with a grin. He climbs to his feet and hurries after her to the rest of the party. She dashes across the room to where Cas is standing with Balthazar and Brady and hugs her dad’s legs. Cas looks surprised at first, peering down at his daughter as she clings to him. Dean watches Callie tip her head and say something that makes Cas smile and then he’s squatting down and hugging her back. 

Dean makes his way over as Callie skips away and Cas looks at him with wonder. “What did you say to her?” he asks, eyes tracking his daughter as she joins the other kids. “And what have you invited into my home?”

Dean shoves their shoulders together. “Just wait until Christmas when I get her the matching boots.”

Cas rolls his eyes, tries to look put out, but his smile is still there and he pushes back into Dean. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.”

Cas looks ready to say something when both of their noses twitch, picking up irritated beta. Neither has to look to know who it’s coming from. Cas makes a little noise in the back of his throat, smile taking a slight edge before he moves away.

“I suppose it’s time to start cutting the cake,” he says, clapping his hands together. “Balthazar, care to help?” He takes the alpha by the hand and the two disappear into the kitchen.

Dean slides over to Brady and wraps his arm around his waist, presses a kiss to his head and waits for his sour aroma to fade. 

They watch from the sidelines as Callie blows out her candles and Cas and Balthazar pass out pieces of cake and scoops of ice cream. When everyone has finished eating, they progress into presents. Callie tries to maintain a smile throughout all of them but Dean can see the effort when she unwraps a few dolls and dresses. Even he frowns at a few of them. But whenever it gets tough she looks over to him and he gives her a thumbs up and she muscles on. 

The kids go back to playing and everything seems to be going smoothly. Dean looks to Brady. “Ready to head out?”

“Yes, please,” Brady says and Dean winces at how quickly he responds. 

“Let me just say bye to Callie and Cas.”

There’s no sight of Callie but he spots Cas in the dining room picking up fallen pink streamers. He greets Dean with arched brows. “Come to lend a hand?”

Dean laughs. “What, there isn’t another crew for cleanup?”

Cas barks out a bitter laugh, bending to pick up another strand. “No, it seems Balthazar was quite careful in undermining my directions for every aspect of this party except the cleanup part.”

Dean hisses. “Oof, someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight.” As he says it, he hears the other alpha’s voice coming from the next room, calling the kids over where he and a woman stand. “Who’s that?”

“Uh, the makeup artist.”

“Makeup artist?” Dean echoes. 

“Yeah, because I guess face painting is soooo last decade,” Cas drawls, eyes rolling. He finally stills and looks at Dean. “I suppose you’re leaving?”

Dean pulls his eyes from Balthazar, who’s bending down talking to Callie. “Uh, yeah. Brady’s got some work to do at home. But let me know if-”

“No, I don’t want to!”

The shout draws Dean and Cas back to the mainroom where Callie is red-faced as she glares at Balthazar. The alpha raises his hands placatingly at her, voice low but strained as he tries to reason with her.

“Callie, love, just listen. Don’t you think it would be fun to try something fancy with your hair?” the alpha consoles. “Or just a little bit of makeup? Like a girl.”

“No, I hate it!” Callie screams, drawing a crowd. “I don’t want it just like I didn’t want this stupid party!”

“Callie!” Cas says as he and Dean hurry over. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“Daddy, I want to go home!” Callie launches herself into Cas’s legs. “I don’t want to be here! I want to go home!”

Balthazar watches helpless, catching Dean’s eye and Dean can only shrug. But then he feels a little hand snaking around his leg and looks down to see Callie clinging to both him and Cas now. 

Together, he and Cas crouch to her level. Cas’s scent is strong with worry and a little guilt as he strokes hair from Calllie’s face and offers her a smile. “It’s okay, baby. We can go home.”

Callie turns to Dean then, big green eyes watery. “Uncle Dean, will you come too?”

Dean smiles sadly and reaches out with his thumb to wipe away her tears. “Wish I could, kiddo. But listen, you’re gonna go home with your daddy and spend some time together. And maybe I can come over tomorrow and hang out, how about that? Cook you whatever you want.”

She doesn’t look happy but she nods. “O-okay.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay, I—”

He breaks off when a strong scent hits him, heady and unnameable but definitely not good. He looks over and finds Brady standing in the doorway, eyes shifting between Dean and Callie before finally landing on Dean and settling on something like… horror?

“Brady?” Dean calls to him, the hair on the back of his neck standing up.

The scent intensifies into nasty rage and without a word, Brady turns and marches out of the apartment like the hounds of hell are hot on his heels.


	9. Chapter 9

*Eight years ago*

The noise coming from Cas’s apartment is loud and assaulting and makes Dean want to spin around and march straight back down the stairs. Instead, he stays his course, pushing through the front door with a resigned sigh.

The noise swells around him and traps him inside the tight bubble of blaring music and loud chatter. It’s a stark contrast from the typical environment of Cas’s apartment which is normally quiet and peaceful and smells like honey and fresh herbs. Dean’s favorite scents.

Now it smells like liquor and a nauseating mix of hormones and it’s decorated in little cartoon sperm cut-outs all over the walls. 

Dean fights his way to the kitchen and sees the theme continues with penis-shaped candy and sandwiches. 

“Dean-o, you made it!”

Dean turns in time to catch Cas’s friend, Meg, before she can fall on him. She uses his arm and the counter to steady herself and gives him a dangerous smile. “Doesn’t it look awesome?” she shouts over the music.

“Love what you’ve done with the place,” he says. “Thought I was at a bachelorette party for a second.”

“Oh, there’s that winning sense of humor everyone tells me about,” she says tightly. 

Dean and Meg’s relationship can’t be described as anything but… challenging. She was in the same program as Cas in college so Dean had to grow accustomed to her being around but he never grew to like it, nor did she. 

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asks, needing to get far away from her.

“He’s talking to the donor dude.”

That brings Dean’s brows up. “Wait, you mean the guy is here?”

Meg nods her head — or she could be bobbing it to the music, it’s hard to tell. “Yeah, Cas decided he wanted to meet him. They’re in his room.” Her eyes simmer darkly and she leans in close. “Might decide to do it the old fashioned way, ya know what I mean?”

Dean’s stomach drops. Meg dances away, completely unaware of the havoc she was wreaking on him internally, and Dean is left to process the information on his own.

Cas is back there with the donor. Possibly having sex. 

Right. Okay. 

Cas is mating — no, not mating. It’s not mating. Cas isn’t looking for a mate that’s the entire purpose of finding a donor. 

But what if while they were talking Cas decided he really likes the guy? Balthazar, Dean reminds himself. He’s a professor at Northwestern after all and Cas studied history. They probably have a lot in common. Probably both love to read and watch documentaries, talk about ancient civilizations and whatever else smart people do. Plus Cas is really funny and sweet. Probably has Balthazar laughing and gasping for breath. 

Dean wanders over to the kitchen. The counter has been transformed into a self-serving bar, littered with liquor bottles and mixers. He thinks of Cas scrunching his nose up at a joke Balthazar tells him, something that would go over Dean’s head, and Dean pours himself a few fingers of whiskey and shoots it back like he’s chasing the thoughts out of his head.

But they don’t go away. In fact they get worse, because now Dean’s certain the two would get along and they would realize that, see that they could actually make a good match. Balthazar was a decent looking guy, Cas was clearly attracted to him at the sperm bank. And there’s no way Balthazar isn’t attracted to Cas. Cas is fucking hot. Tall, broad shoulders, muscular but not too bulky. Dean likes to tease him for being so ripped for someone whose dream was to spend all day in dimly lit museums geeking out over ancient artifacts. 

And his face — god, his face is perfect. Strong jaw, perfect lips. Like really perfect, wide and so, so pink. And his eyes. Dean’s never seen blue like that anywhere else. There’s no other word for them besides beautiful. 

Dean pours another drink and finishes it just as fast as the first.

Balthazar probably took one look at Cas and was gone. Dean sure as hell had been back in college.

They would be a beautiful couple. And they would make beautiful babies. And Cas would be happy. 

Without Dean.

That’s when the spiral really starts. Dean reaches for a bottle and keeps reaching, drinking whatever he can get his hands on as the party moves around him. He knows it’s not a good decision but he doesn’t want to be good right now. He doesn’t want to be mature. He doesn’t even want to think. He just wants to forget this whole night and the reason he’s even here.

He ends up on the dance floor a few times, a different body rubbing against his with each song it seems, and he doesn’t get their names. There are kisses, some groping, and a lot of different scents and flavors on his tongue. His body feels loose and his mind fuzzy just the way he wanted.

At some points he finds himself nestled into the couch and it’s good. Feels really good. He tips his head onto some stranger’s shoulder who laughs and Dean smiles. They sound good. Nice, deep laugh. Kinda like—

“Dean? Hey, Dean.”

Dean blinks his eyes open, a shape in front of him slowly coming into focus. He picks out two very blue eyes but can’t see much of them because they’re narrowed. Uh-oh.

“Hey, Cas.”

The anger in Cas’s eyes dissipates enough to make room for concern and he touches Dean’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“Good, ‘m good,” Dean says into the stranger’s shoulder before he tries to extract himself. “Where you been, man?”

“I had to talk to Balthazar. What’s gotten into you? When did you even get here?”

Dean shrugs his shoulders because he truly doesn’t know, can’t even tell how long he’s been here — could have been a few minutes, could have been hours.

“Okay, you’re coming with me. Get up.” Cas straightens and pulls on his hand, yanking Dean to his feet. 

Dean’s body swoons, his body half and top half not finding the same center of gravity, and Cas wraps an arm around his waist to steady him. It brings Dean’s face really close to Cas’s neck and he can’t help the deep breath he takes. A thunderstorm fills his nostrils and strikes through his body like lightning. Uh-oh. 

Cas starts to guide Dean down the hall and to his room. When they reach the door, Dean pulls back a little. He doesn’t want to go in there. He doesn’t want to smell his and Balthazar’s scents all mixed together with sex and lust, doesn’t want to see the rumpled sheets and other evidence of what went on in here earlier tonight. God, what if Balthazar is still in there?

Cas’s hand grips his hip harder, enough to bruise, and huffs an irritated, “Dean, come on,” and pulls him through the door. 

Dean closes his eyes and holds his breath like a child. 

He hears the door shut and the roar of the party is muted.

“What the hell are you doing?” Cas asks. “Are you holding your breath? Dean!” He receives a sharp slap to the head and his eyes snap open.

The bed is made, corners tucked tight, and pillows in their place. He dares a breath. Cas’s scent is of course over the place, thick and heady. He can pick up another alpha, but it’s light like they hadn’t been here long, and there are no lingering whiffs of anything sexual. 

An angry cough grabs his attention and Dean focuses on Cas. He hands his arms crossed over his chest, one brow arched, and not a lick of patience to be found. “Are you going to explain yourself?”

Dean shrinks back a little. “Explain what?”

Cas blows out a heavy breath. “Explain why you’re this close to blackout drunk at my semination party without even coming to talk to me?”

“I couldn’t find you,” he shrugs.

“The apartment isn't that big, Dean. All you had to do was knock on a few doors.”

He shrugs again. “Meg said you were talking to Balthazar. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Cas doesn’t look impressed. “We were in here for ten minutes. What’s going on, Dean?” His face softens and takes a step closer. “Did something happen? You haven’t responded to any of my messages today. I was afraid you weren’t even going to come.”

Dean ducks his head because, up until a few hours ago, so had he. “I would never miss this, Cas. I’m sorry for being an ass.”

“So something did happen?”

Yeah, I kept thinking about how after tonight you’re going to have someone else’s kid and how much I wish it was me because I’ve been in love with you since I met you.

But that’s too much to process this drunk. Hell, it’s too much to process while sober. 

“It doesn’t matter, Cas,” he says and smiles at his friend because this is what Cas needs and deserves right now. “Tonight is all about you. Let’s go out there and get you your last drink for a while.”

Cas doesn’t look convinced. “Are you sure, because we can talk, I—”

Dean takes his hand and squeezes. A promise. “I’m sure. I’m good.”

After a moment, Cas smiles, and nods his head. “Okay. I think that drink sounds really good.”

“Atta boy. Let me go pee and I’ll meet you out there.” He releases Cas’s hand moves toward the bathroom. 

“And splash some water on your face,” Cas calls as he cracks the bedroom door open. “You’re all gross and sweaty.”

Dean gives a cocky grin. “You’re always the one griping at me about doing more cardio.”

Cas rolls his eyes and dips out the door.

Dean stumbles into the bathroom and leans against the sink. It’s cool in here and he tries to let it calm the heat under his skin and just breathe. Slow, deep breaths. 

Cas was mad at him and that ties his stomach into all sorts of knots. It was never his intention to upset Cas. Today was rough, having this party looming at the very end and knowing that after tonight Cas would be a different person. That he would be even further beyond Dean’s reach. 

But that’s just something he’ll have to live with because regardless of what happens with this baby or between Cas and Balthazar, Cas is still his best friend and he deserves to have Dean present and supportive. 

That settled, Dean lifts the toilet seat to handle his business and turns on the tap to wash his hands. He fumbles around, looking for the soap. Cas likes to hide his good toiletries when he has too many people over. His eyes spot a little container on the corner of the sink and lifts it up. It’s somehow both white and translucent, kinda like soap. He pops the lid off and the scent that hits him is definitely not soap. 

“Oh, fuck,” he breathes, as realization hits him.

This is the sperm. 

He’s holding someone’s sperm.

Cas’s donor sperm.

Dean brings the cup closer with his shaky hand and can’t help but laugh a little. This is the shit Cas has to basically inject himself with later? Somewhere in this cup is Cas’s future child?

That’s a weird thought. And then it’s a funny thought and Dean is caught with an unexpected case of the giggles. 

A loud knock shakes the bathroom and Dean jerks, a yelp ripped from his throat as the cup slips from his hand and into the sink, the water washing it down the drain.

“_Shit!_”

“Hey, man, you almost done, there’s a line starting!” the person on the other side of the door shouts.

“Fuck off!” Dean roars in his deepest alpha voice and turns back to the sink. He dives for the cup to save what he can but it’s gone. All of it. Just gone.

“Shit!” he shouts again. 

Cas is going to fucking kill him. He’s gonna tie Dean up by his balls and beat him like a pinata. No, he’ll castrate him. He’ll cut his whole fucking dick off. He’ll suffocate him in his sleep. Dean almost gags on his fear. 

Shit. _Fuck._ Shit, shit, shit, fuck!

Dean slides to the floor with the empty cup. Empty. No future children. The children that Cas wants to have more than anything in the world. It’s gone and Dean fucking did it. 

“I have to fix this,” he whispers to himself. And winces, running a hand through his hair. “_How_ do I fix this?”

He tries to think but it’s really hard with all the alcohol in his system and his whole body shaking because he can’t stop imagining the look on Cas’s face when Dean tells him he ruined this just like he ruins everything and how Cas is going to chop his dick off as payback and Dean can’t even be mad.

_Wait._

Dean looks down.

His dick.

He looks back up, head lolling to the side. It would work. 

He closes his eyes, leans his head back against the wall, and starts to undo his pants. It takes him a minute, his body feeling slow and heavy, but eventually he makes enough room and takes his cock out. It twitches in the chill of Cas’s bathroom and he gives it a good stroke, base to tip. A low growl vibrates in his chest and his toes curl in his boots so he does it again and again, feeling better with each stroke. 

He plays with the tip, circling his thumb over the slip until the first pearl of precum leaks out and he scoops it up, strokes it down his shaft and hisses as the slickness of the movement. 

Cas’s scent is all around him and it likes the more aroused he becomes, the thicker Cas’s scent gets. He sucks in a deep breath, trying to fill himself with the familiar rainstorm and spicy pine, lets it race through his body and his cock jumps in his hand. He imagines Cas, his big blue eyes dark with lust, his cheeks and neck all red, chest panting, body quivering. He thinks about what Cas would do if he were here under different circumstances, watching Dean touch himself and drowning in his scent. How he would touch Dean, a big hand on his thigh, another carding gentle fingers through his hair. How he would use his deep gravelly voice to encourage Dean, panting in his ear, _come Dean, come for me._

Dean’s begins to stroke faster, more precum easing the way. Twists his wrist a little at the tip. Make it tighter. Tight like Cas’s—

“Oh,” the groan is pulled out of him, low and guttural and Dean rolls his hips. His abdomen is tightening and the heat is damn near unbearable.

_Please, Dean, I need it. I need you._

He barely remembers to lift the cup in time before he starts to shake apart.


	10. Chapter 10

It takes Dean three blocks to finally catch up to Brady, shouting his name all the way. The beta ignores him resolutely and keeps pushing his way through the pedestrian traffic but eventually Dean grabs his arm and pulls him to a stop. 

He doesn’t expect the way Brady snarls at him when he finally turns around, isn’t prepared for the overwhelming stench of the beta’s fury or the fire in his eyes, and he definitely isn’t ready when Brady pushes him back.

“Brady, what the hell?” Dean exclaims, regaining his balance.

“No, you, what the hell?” Brady shoots back, voice barely more than a growl. “I can’t believe you!”

Dean’s eyes widen. “What the hell did I do?” 

“All this time… I was stupid enough to trust you when you said you were just friends even though I knew deep down it was a lie. And you-you-” he stammers off, running a hand through his perfectly combed hair. “You brought them into our home. Paraded them right in front of me and just lied.”

“Brady, what the fuck are you talking about?” Dean yells, trying to catch up with his boyfriend’s tyraid. “What did I lie about?”

Brady’s eyes burn at him with disgust. “Stop pretending! I had my suspicions but, god, how stupid do you actually think I am? How long did you think you could hide that she’s your child?”

Dean’s eyes blow even wider, beyond confused and losing his own patience. “What the fuck- I- who are you talking about?”

“Callie!” Brady bellows and the traffic around them slows. 

“Callie isn’t mine! I told you Cas got a sperm donor. You were literally just talking to the man!”

“Balthazar is as much that child’s father as I am the president of France,” Brady sneers. “I should have noticed sooner. The eyes, the freckles, god she even has your lips and the same horrible taste in movies! Why you always go crawling every time that omega calls your name like his little puppy-”

Dean growls, chest firing with something hot and bitter. “Don’t talk about Cas like that,” he warns with all the control he has left.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to insult your little secret family. And don’t let me keep you from them. You’ve missed out on enough birthdays after all, haven’t you?”

The comment is so damn mean, Dean is blown away. “Brady, what the fuck-?”

“Fuck you, Dean,” Brady cuts in, pushing him again. “I’m done with this.” He starts to walk away and Dean throws his hands up.

“Where the fuck are you going now?”

“I’m going home,” Brady shouts back at him. “I’ll have someone call you when your things are ready to be picked up.”

Dean blinks, chasing after Brady a few feet. “Wait, are you- are you breaking up with me?”

“Of course I’m breaking up with you!” Brady says like Dean is the crazy one here. “You really thought I’d stay after this?”

“Brady, Callie is not my daughter.”

Brady stops so suddenly Dean almost rams into him. The beta turns slowly and looks up into Dean’s eyes. “I don’t know what you’re playing here but if you truly don’t know, then go back into that party and look that child in the eye. Really, really look and you will have not even an ounce of doubt who her father is.”

Dean gapes, not sure how to respond but Brady doesn’t give him the time to anyway. 

Dean is left there on the sidewalk, his whole world tilting and collapsing because suddenly all he can see is Callie’s face with her big green eyes and constellation of freckles across her cheeks. And he thinks no, no, not possible. 

Because he and Cas — they had never done anything like… that. God knows Dean had longed to, hoped and wished on every miraculous star he could spot through the city smog. But Cas had never given Dean any sign or indication that he was even the tiniest bit interested in Dean as anything more than a friend. So Dean hid the feelings behind a smile, grateful to be able to call Cas friend at all. 

It wasn’t always easy, had actually involved a lot more late-night pints of ice cream than Dean was proud to admit. There had been times when Dean’s alpha hurt so bad he hadn’t even been able to look at Cas. And the only thing he had to console him were the even darker days when Dean was forced to admit that even if by some wild miracle Cas could come to love Dean, he doubted he would even allow himself to accept. Because deep down, in the very soul of the alpha that guided him, he knew that Cas deserved more than some kitchen grunt.

Dean looks back down the street he’d run down, briefly considering going back to the party. He hadn’t said a proper goodbye to Cas or Callie, just ran after Brady. But the thought of seeing them right now doesn’t feel right in his gut and Brady’s words just won’t leave his head. 

Because he may not remember anything happening between him and Cas but now that the seed has been planted — How long did you think you could hide that she’s your child? — the idea that Callie could be his… it felt right. Too right for him to not investigate. He needed answers. And there’s only one person he can think of who might have them.

*****

Charlie isn’t happy to have her video game marathon interrupted when Dean buzzes her apartment, but she lets him up. 

He can’t help but sneer at the TV where the game is paused. “_Fortnite,_ Charlie, really? What are you, twelve?”

“Only in spirit,” she says and collapses on the couch. “So to what do I owe this unannounced visit?”

Dean sits across from her and opens this mouth but doesn’t know where to start. Charlie smells his discomfort and sits up a little, concern filtering through her own scent. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

He takes a deep breath. “So Brady and I were just at Callie’s birthday party…”

“Shit, that was today?” Charlie groans. “I’ll have to give her two gifts next time I see her.” At Dean’s impatient look she smiles impishly. “But that’s not as important. Please continue.”

“Well, I was talking to Callie, trying to help Cas calm her down after Balthazar made her mad.” Dean imagines the scene in his mind, can still feel the warmth of Callie’s little hand clinging to his leg, can smell the distress and comfort Cas was putting out, clearly upset but still trying to care for his daughter. “All of a sudden Brady got mad and stormed out and I followed him outside and he said… something really weird.”

Charlie squints. “Weird how?”

“He, uh, he said that Callie was my kid.”

Charlie’s brows shoot up. “Callie? _Callie_ Callie? Like _Cas’s_ Callie?”

Dean nods. “He said… the eyes and the freckles, the lips…” Dean pictures the little girl’s face now and feels his alpha rumble in his chest, a bone deep and ancient recognition of family. Of pack. The reaction makes him look up at his friend. “And Charlie, I-I know it sounds crazy but it’s like since the moment he said it, I… it’s like my body knows it’s true. And every alpha instinct in me wants to run to her right now.”

“Dean that’s crazy!” Charlie cries, looking more serious than Dean has ever seen her. “I mean, you and Cas never hooked up. And we know for a fact that Cas used a donor. We were literally at the party where he got inseminated.” 

Dean looks up with a frown. “We what?”

Charlie huffs impatiently, eyes rolling. “Of course you don’t remember, you drank half a damn bar that night,” she grumbles under her breath. “The night that Cas was supposed to inseminate himself with Balthazar’s sperm, Meg threw an insemination party. You showed up super late and pissy and started shooting back tequila like you were trying to put a fire out in your stomach.”

As Charlie speaks, the night starts to come back to him — at least the beginning of it. He definitely remembers opening the invitation from Meg and snarling when a bunch of confetti sperm had fallen all over his floor. He remembers dreading the event and purposefully taking extra hours at work that night so he’d have an excuse not to go. He remembers ignoring Cas’s calls and texts that day because every time he thought of Cas pregnant with someone else’s child, his chest ached and he didn’t know how to stop it. 

But clearly he had gone and at least tried to put a band-aid on it.

“What else happened?” he asks Charlie, needing more details.

Charlie thinks for a moment. “Well, you kinda just went with the crowd for a while. I remember trying to tell you to calm down but you were too far gone by then.” She laughs suddenly. “Oh but when Cas found you? I’ve never seen him so angry. He pulled you up and took you back to his room. I think to yell at you. He came out a few minutes later.” At Dean’s unspoken question she added, “Nothing happened. I’m sure of it. Cas looked stressed when he came out but he didn’t smell like sex.”

Dean nods, processing this new information and a fair amount of shame at his behavior. Clearly, he’d been more cut up about the situation than he knew but that was no excuse to upset Cas. 

“What happened to me after that?”

“You passed out in the bathroom. We found you a while later sprawled out on the floor with your pants undone.” She snickers and Dean feels all the color leave his face. “Pretty sure you tripped while trying to pee. Very smooth.”

Dean feels mortified. “Oh my god, Charlie! How could you never tell me that?”

She shrugs lightly. “I think we all agreed that none of us wanted to remember that moment.” 

“Wait, so Cas saw me like that?” All the color rushes back and stains Dean’s face a bright red. 

“Well, I definitely wasn’t gonna be the one to button your pants,” Charlie says. 

And that blow brings Dean’s head down, covering his face in shame. He couldn’t believe Cas had seen him like that, sunk so low his best friend had had to _button his fucking pants._ He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to look Cas in the eyes again.

“I can’t believe this,” he mumbles into his hands. 

“Yeah, it was real nice of him. Especially since he was ready to beat your ass for fucking with his sperm.”

Dean reels, the words conjuring all kinds of horrifying scenarios in his head. “I did _what?_”

“Oh, not like his sperm,” Charlie clarifies when she sees his face. “I mean like the donor sperm. It was on the floor when we came in. Still in the cup but, like, Cas nearly had a heart attack when he saw it.”

Dean groans and flings himself back on the couch. He realizes he’s, for all intents and purposes, pouting but he thinks he deserves a pass for the next few minutes. After all, he’s just learned that he’d made a complete ass of himself in front of the man he’s loved for more than ten years and he can’t even remember. It’s absolutely humiliating. Being found on the damn bathroom floor with his pants undone and a cup of sperm. Dean’s pretty sure he’s never heard of anything so embarrassing in his entire life.

Wait.

He was found on the floor with his pants undone. And a cup of sperm.

Dean frowns, sitting up a little. Why did that… sound familiar? Like if he really thought about it he could pick up little fractures, images that were too clear to be completely imaginary. Images of his hands in the sink trying to catch something, images of him on the floor struggling with the button of his pants. But that made no sense.

“Dean?” Charlie asks. “You okay?”

He doesn’t respond because his brain is working overtime to spin these fractures into a memory. 

He was found on the floor with his pants undone. 

And with a cup… of sperm. 

Cas’s donor sperm from another alpha. That he used to get pregnant. With Callie. Who looked an awful lot like Dean.

_Found on the floor with his pants undone…_

Dean is up like a rocket and halfway across the room before Charlie can even properly scold him for knocking her over. 

“Dean! What the hell?”

But he still can’t respond because it’s connecting now and — _fuck_, he’s fucked!

Charlie stands and approaches him carefully. “Dean, what is it?”

He stops his pacing but can’t look at her when he says his next words — isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to look at anyone ever again. “I switched the sperm.”

Charlie freezes. “What?”

“I-I switched the sperm,” he repeats

Charlie still doesn’t move but her eyes seem to get more intense as she watches Dean. When she speaks her question comes across in three careful parts. “What. Do you mean. By switched the sperm?”

And Dean all but explodes because he doesn’t know how else to say it. “I switched them Charlie! I-I think I did something to Balthazar’s and I replaced with mine!”

“Do you have any idea how fucking crazy you sound right now?”

“Yes!” he shouts. He’s well fucking aware — to the point that he can barely stand to be in his own body. “But think about it, Charlie. Callie looks just like me.”

“I think it takes a little more than green eyes and freckles to prove-”

But Dean shakes his head and starts to dig his phone out, already knowing where Charlie is going with this. But she’s wrong and he knows it, can feel it. He scrolls through his camera roll until he finds a photograph — one Cas had sent him back in the summer of Callie with a big toothy grin. He holds it out to Charlie and her mouth shuts tight.

“She looks just like me,” he repeats, sounding more and more confident each time he says it. “And every time I’m around her I feel more whole than I ever have in my life. Even more than when I’m just with Cas. _Think about it, Charlie_. You found me on the floor with my pants undone and the sperm cup.”

Charlie looks between Dean and the photo, eyes flickering back and forth, before finally settling on Dean. And she peers at him, hard. Like she’s trying to see past him and into his soul, his alpha. Dean’s not sure what she finds there but whatever it is, it’s enough to make her jaw drop.

“Holy shit,” she breathes.

She sees it and it’s all the confirmation Dean needs. His chest swells tight and it’s like he can feel his inner wolf howling with pride and happiness. A child! He has a child — an _awesome_ child whom he already loves and adores.

But as quickly as the dizzying happiness comes it’s gone when Dean remembers the true crux of this situation and he’s slapped back down to Earth with supernatural force.

He looks at Charlie who seems to realize at the same time as him. “What do I do?” he whispers, fearing the inevitable answer.

Charlie doesn’t look pleased to deliver the blow but she does it anyway. “You have to tell Cas.”

And even though he knew it was coming Dean still feels it like a blow and terror rushes through him, turning his blood to ice. “I-I can’t do that, Charlie.”

Charlie’s eyes are big and sympathetic. “I know,” she whispers. “But you have to. Cas deserves to know. And so does Callie.”

Dean’s inner wolf whines at the loss he hasn’t even experienced yet, the fall of a pack that isn’t even real. Isn’t really _his_. “He’ll never talk to me again,” he says quietly, painfully.

“You don’t know that,” Charlie tries to assure him but even he can hear the lie in her voice.

“Yes, I do.” Dean roams back over to the couch and sits down. 

It’s funny how the happiest news in your life can bring you to your lowest moment.

Dean can do nothing but sit there with it for a while, this daunting news of what he must do and what will undoubtedly bring him the greatest pain of his life. He’s already lost Cas once and it had nearly killed him. This will be so much worse, because this time it was something that he did. 

Charlie eventually joins him on the couch, not touching but close enough that he can pick up the notes of sympathy in her scent. 

He nods his head, answering her unasked question. “I’m gonna do it. Just…” He sucks in a shuddering breath, tries to muster up a smile and even he can taste the salt in it. “Just give me a little time.”

She nods, understanding the silent plea behind the words. She scoots closer, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping him up in her arms. Dean lets himself fall into it and stares ahead like he can see the grains of sand filling the bottom of the hourglass.


	11. Chapter 11

***Eight Years Ago***

They meet for breakfast somewhere on the north side of the city. It’s a small place but it has great waffles and breakfast tacos and a byob policy if you want some mimosas. 

But Dean got the feeling they wouldn’t be needing those. And it was confirmed the second Cas sat across from him and he caught the omega’s scent.

“I’m pregnant,” Cas smiles.

Dean musters up a matching one. “That’s amazing, Cas. How do you feel? Any strange headaches? Shooting spider webs out of your hands?”

Cas laughs and rolls his eyes. “I said I was pregnant not bitten by a radioactive spider.” He sighs, hands coming to rest on his lower stomach. It’s still flat as a board but Dean can see the wistful twinkle in his eye and he imagines what it will look like months from now. “I’m happy. Like really, really happy.”

And that’s all Dean really needs to hear. His smile softens, genuine and heartfelt. “I’m glad, Cas. I really am.”

They eat for a while and Dean teases Cas for his pancakes with vegan butter.

“I read that pregnant people shouldn’t eat eggs or dairy,” Cas says defensively.

Dean looks at him, face sour. “Pretty sure if dairy was a danger to pregnant people, I wouldn’t be here because Mom says ice cream was about all she could eat.”

“So maybe not a danger to the baby’s life but definitely has an affect on the personality.”

Dean narrows his eyes. “Funny. Explain Sam.”

“Fifty-fifty case,” Cas grins.

Dean shakes his head. “Cute. So when do we need to start baby proofing and crib shopping? Are you gonna have to move apartments?”

He expected Cas to get excited but when he doesn’t immediately respond, Dean looks up from his breakfast and finds his friend frowning, eyes downcast.

“Cas? Everything okay?”

Cas fidgets. “That’s actually… the other thing I wanted to talk to you about today.”

Now Dean starts to fidget. “What’s wrong?”

The table suddenly smells like rain and when Cas looks up his eyes are shining like he’s about to cry. It pulls at something deep and protective in Dean but before he can jump Cas says, “I’ve decided to move back to Washington.”

It’s like being doused in ice water, like being pushed into Lake Michigan in November. “What?”

“I just… I’ve been talking to my parents and they’re super excited about the baby and we were planning all this stuff and I started to realize how difficult it was going to be to raise a baby in a city like this.” Cas is rambling but Dean doesn’t have the strength to stop him. “Just… with all the chaos around here… I don’t think I want my kid to grow up in it. I want them to have a childhood like mine, I want them to have space. And it’s like you said, raising a kid on your own is really hard. If I move home, I’ll have my parents and my siblings to help, aunts and uncles.”

Dean doesn’t respond, just kind of nods along to Cas’s words.

Cas is leaving.

“I just think it’s the best decision for me and my baby.”

Cas is moving to the other side of the country.

“Dean? Say something.”

But Dean doesn’t know what to say. He feels a deep pit opening inside of him and his alpha cries at the loss of something still sitting right across from him.

A warm hands slides into his and Dean jerks but it tightens its grip and he finally looks up into Cas’s eyes. They’re still wet and Dean hates that, he does, and he can see the apology in them. But he can also see the certainty and knows that no arguing or begging is going to make Cas stay. He has to think for his child now. 

So he works up a smile and squeezes Cas back. “I’m going to miss you.”

He doesn’t know if those are the right words; they seem too simple. Cas makes a watery sound like he’s losing the fight to hold back his tears and Dean wants to crawl over the table and hold him.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” he whispers. 

Nothing else really needs to be said after that and their breakfasts sit between them, going cold. Their hands stay clasped together as the morning reaches its end and the lunch rush reminds them that their clock is ticking.


	12. Chapter 12

The sounds of gunfire blast from the television following by hooting and hollering and a stampede of horses rushing through town. 

Callie giggles as the bad guys are chased out of town and Dean grins. 

They’re sprawled out on the couch, stomachs full of pizza and cheesy breadsticks and the comforting lethargy only known on Friday evenings in a space that was finally starting to feel like home.

It had taken a little while to find a place, but after weeks of hunting Dean had secured a nice apartment closer to the restaurant than Brady’s had been. He’d found his things waiting in the hall for him three days after the breakup. Dean had tried to knock so they could talk but Brady either wasn’t home or was ignoring him just as he had ignored all of Dean’s texts and calls the past few days. He was soon forced to accept that Brady wasn’t going to talk to him — that there was no fixing this. All Dean could do is try to move on.

And that’s what he’s done, finally settled in a place that actually suits him and the ever-shifting world of alpha bachelorhood. He thinks he kinda likes it after awhile. The freedom of it. Not having to worry about someone else, fitting into his own home for once, getting to meet new people and not feeling embarrassed or inferior. Unsuccessful. 

And maybe the greatest part of all this: Callie. Since getting his own space, Dean didn’t have to feel bad about inviting Cas and Callie over or letting the little girl spend the night. Just like this weekend. Callie was staying the weekend while Cas and Balthazar took care of Cas’s heat. 

Dean tried not to focus too much on that aspect of the arrangement. Tried not to think about the physical activities it would entail or how it implied in which direction Cas and Balthazar’s relationship was going. Not that it wasn’t pretty clear anyway. 

But at least Dean has Callie. Charlie was giving him the time he’d asked for, time to spend with his daughter before she undoubtedly got ripped away from him once he told Cas the truth. Time to appreciate Cas, cataloging and collecting every smile and laugh he can for the rainy days head. 

Because they were coming. Soon. _Eventually._

“Hey, Dean?” Callie pipes up suddenly.

“Yeah?” Dean grunts, eyes still trained on the TV.

“Do you like my dad?”

Dean’s lips twitch. “Of course I do. He’s my best friend.”

“Daddy’s just been worried because you haven’t been talking to him. Are you mad at us?”

The guilt hits hard and swift. He had admittedly avoided Cas for the first couple of weeks after everything had come out into the open — at least for Dean. Cas thought Dean was cut up about the breakup and so had resolved to give his friend space to heal. He had no idea Dean had spent that time screaming and ripping himself a new one over what he had done those eight years ago.

But Dean can’t say all that to Callie so he goes for a reassuring smile. “No, sweetheart, I could never be mad at you.”

Callie nods like she understands. “Are you sad about Brady?”

“A little bit. I miss him sometimes.” It wasn’t easy adjusting to being alone, not after so long in a relationship. 

“Did you love him?”

“I did. But I wasn’t in love.”

Callie frowns. “What’s the difference?”

Dean actually considers the question, trying to find the best way to explain. “Well, there are a lot of different ways you can love someone. When you love someone, you care about them, you want the best for them. But when you’re in love with someone… it’s like not being able to live without them. They make you feel… complete.”

Callie still looks confused by his explanation. “Have you ever been in love?”

“Yeah, once.”

“Did they love you back?”

“No,” Dean grimaces sadly. “They didn’t.”

Callie’s lips pout in a genuine display of sadness. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

Dean shrugs it off. “It’s okay, kiddo. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. If not, you just gotta shrug it off and move on.”

They settle back into their original positions on the couch, Callie sinking into the back like the cushions are trying to eat her. The sheriff on screen waltz into a saloon, raising the hackles of all the patrons. The suspenseful music builds and then cuts into dead silence all of a sudden, causing the tension to spike. Eyes shift. The bartender’s hand starts to sneak under the bar. 

“Are you in love with my dad?”

Dean jumps just as the first gunshot fires. When he turns back to Callie she’s watching him, her face calm and unreadable, looking a lot like her father when he was assessing someone. It took Dean a moment to realize that he was just staring while she was clearly waiting for a response.

“No,” he finally says, and he hates the way the lie feels on his tongue. “No, I’m not in love with your dad.”

Callie’s calm exterior deflates into disappointment. “Why not?”

The panic ebbs into a frown as Dean senses something serious behind this odd line of questioning. “I guess… we just never developed those sorts of feelings for each other. Some people are just meant to be friends.”

“Oh.” Callie obviously doesn’t like that explanation but Dean has nothing left to give, not without revealing everything. And he can’t put that on a kid. Not even if she’s his kid. 

“What brought this on?” he asks after a minute.

Callie shrugs and looks back at the TV. She’s trying to look unbothered but Dean can still see it in her posture, the line of her mouth. “I guess I just thought it would be cool…”

“What would?”

Callie sighs and disappears back into the cushions as she says, “If you could be my other dad.”

Dean can hardly breathe through the rest of the night.

*****  
The morning smells like bacon and fresh strawberry syrup. Callie had the honor of choosing breakfast and had decided to put Dean through his paces with a crepes buffet. She was helping to mix some of the fillings while he oversaw all stove operations.

There was music on in the back and Callie was grinning, stirring a little too vigorously at times, and it felt good. Domestic. Familial. 

Dean, on the other hand, has burnt half the damn crepes and his hands won’t stop shaking.

Cas is due any minute now to fetch Callie. And Dean is going to tell him the truth.

Callie’s comment has been echoing in his mind all weekend, haunting and unforgettable. _I guess I just thought it would be cool if you could be my other dad._

Dean had been wholly unprepared to hear those words and they had triggered a flood of emotions that crashed through him like a tidal wave. Happiness, pride, glee. Guilt. Sorrow. Shame.

He couldn’t tell Callie that he also wanted to be her dad — that he was, in fact, her other father biologically. He couldn’t tell her that he wanted to spend every day like they had this weekend, watching TV, cooking together, enacting old western scenes in their cowboy hats and collapsing in fits of laughter. Dean’s pretty sure he’s never felt so complete in his life. His alpha had felt so content, like he was finally listening to all of his instincts and doing what he was always meant to. 

All instincts except for one.

“I thought you were supposed to be a professional,” Callie says with a laugh when Dean burns yet another crepe.

He laughs mockingly. “Hey, I _am_ a professional. I’m just distracted.”

“Well, I need you un-distracted before our entire breakfast is ruined.”

This time Dean’s laughter is real. “Aye, aye, chef.”

Breakfast is salvaged and they gorge themselves on crepes, making sure to leave just enough for Cas in case he shows up hungry. Callie wanders off to the guest room to play while Dean cleans up.

He’s given a lot of thought to what he’s going to say once Cas arrives. He’s planned a whole speech, rehearsed it in his mind until the clock on his phone bled from late night to the early morning hours. He knows it by heart now.

And then comes the knock. 

Dean can’t properly explain the ache in his gut when he opens the door but it suddenly feels like he swallowed something large and heavy. He thinks it has something to do with the soft glow Cas is letting off, the sort of tired yet satisfied droop in his eyes, the lazy lift of his smile. His scent is soft and relaxing. The picture of a content omega.

“Hello, Dean,” he says and his voice is rough, almost hoarse. It turns the weight in Dean’s stomach into something even heavier, hurts so much Dean almost presses a hand to his abdomen. 

“Uh, h-hey. Cas.”

Dean doesn’t know what else to say or do and just kind of stands there. Cas stares at him until he takes it upon himself to invite himself inside. His eyes roam the apartment, cataloguing every piece of furniture. “Everything still looks to be in the same state as when I left so I guess you two had a good weekend?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dean says, finally closing the door and trying to ignore the sickness. “Yeah, we had a good time.”

“Are you okay, Dean?”

Dean swallows thickly. “Yeah, I’m good. I just, uh, I need to talk to you.”

Cas’s brows lift, curious and now more than a little concerned. “Okay. I actually need to talk to you about something as well.”

Dean’s about to suggest that Cas goes first — because he knows Cas won’t be interested in sharing news with him after what Dean has to say. And if Dean also wants to buy himself a few more minutes with his best friend? Sue him.

He opens his mouth but his eyes catch something when Cas moves his hand. He’s brushing his hair back and Dean sees it again, something glinting in the light, and he feels that nauseating weight in his stomach start to claw upwards.

“What’s that?” The words force their way out of him.

Cas frowns and then looks down. He turns bright red. “Oh, uh, this is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. He lifts his hand so Dean can see the ring clearly. “Balthazar proposed.”

A lot of things happen in Dean’s body all at once. All his plans of what he was going to say to Cas fly out the window. The sickness in his stomach lances through his chest and it’s so violent his hands clench into fists, teeth biting his lips shut. And there are so many feelings, more than he could ever possibly identify. Disbelief, devastation, regret. Shame.

Shame for not feeling elated.

Shame for not already wrapping Cas up in a hug and congratulating him.

Shame for mourning something that was never his.

And then comes the quick clean-up because Dean’s body is used to this routine. His words come back with a gentle voice in his head reminding him, _Cas could never be yours anyway._ So he unclenches his fists, swallows the sickness down like bile, breaks out a smile.

“That’s awesome, Cas!” It’s louder than intended but probably the right amount of cheer for a newly engaged friend.

Cas sighs. “Really? You looked kind of… upset for a second.”

_Stop slipping,_ Dean growls at himself. _Keep smiling._

“Are you kidding? No, this is amazing news!” Without thought his body carries him forward and he gives Cas the hug he knows needs to be given. “I’m so happy for you, Cas,” he says while Cas can’t see his face.

He feels Cas hands wrap around his waist a moment later. “Thank you, Dean. I was nervous to tell you.”

“Me?” Dean laughs and pulls himself back. “Why?”

The way Cas is looking at him is careful, guarded. “I just got the impression that you didn’t like Balthazar.”

“What? No, he’s a great guy.” _Smile, smile, smile._ “And if he makes you happy, then I’m happy.”

“Oh.” Cas smiles back. “He does. He really does.”

_Keep smiling. Keep smiling._

Dean claps his hands together. “All right, well. You must be dying to tell Callie. I’ll go get her so you can break the news.”

He turns quickly, trying to run down the hall as fast as he can.

“Wait, Dean, what did you need to talk to me about?”

The sickness stirs the second he stills. _Smile_, he reminds himself before he turns around to reassure Cas, “It doesn’t matter.”


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey, Dean, it’s Cas. Just calling to check on you. You haven’t responded to any of my texts the last few days. Let me know you’re still alive, okay? Bye._  
*  
*  
*  
_Dean, I stopped by the restaurant today. They said you haven’t been in all week. What’s going on? Are you sick?_  
*  
*  
*  
_Dean, it’s Cas. I know you don’t like talking on the phone, but I’m worried. We haven’t heard from you in a few weeks. Please let me know that you’re okay._  
*  
*  
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_I got ahold of Charlie and she said you’re okay, just super busy. Has something happened at work? You know if you need anything all you have to do is ask._  
*  
*  
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_We mailed out invitations to the engagement party today. You should get yours soon. I really hope you’ll come._  
*  
*  
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_Why won’t you talk to me?_  
*  
*  
*  
_Hey, Dean, it’s Callie. Don’t tell Daddy I took his phone. He’s really worried about you. He said you must be super sick. I can help take care of you if you want. Just like you did me. And then we can play cowboys — oh, shoot, Daddy’s coming. I gotta go. I miss you!_  
*  
*  
*  
_Look, I don’t know what I’ve done to get the cold shoulder like this, but it needs to stop. Callie and I miss you. And I need you right now. The engagement party is tomorrow and it would be really nice if my best friend actually showed up. Please, Dean. I won’t ask any questions about these last two months. I just need you._

Dean looks down at the invitation in his hand and resists balling it up for maybe the thousandth time since he’d fetched it from his mailbox — which he had avoided opening all together after Cas’s text that it was coming. 

Dean may be a self-loathing bastard but even he didn’t hate himself enough to go celebrate the love of his life getting engaged to someone else. The clock ticks into another hour and guilt bubbles low in his stomach. Well, he at least hopes he doesn’t. 

These last few months haven’t been easy. Staying away from Cas and Callie was maybe the hardest thing he’s ever done and it hadn’t been his intention. In fact, he was absolutely horrified when he woke up the morning after Cas had shared news of the engagement to find his body going through rejection. 

Rejection was a scary process, a physical and volatile manifestation of heartbreak that tore the body down, took your inner wolf and shoved it through a paper shredder. Dean had woken with a pain in his chest so deep, it was like he could feel the bones expanding and stretching, trying to breach skin. 

He didn’t know how many days had passed with him trapped in bed before Charlie somehow found him and had him transported to a hospital. To say the doctors were confused was an understatement. Rejection wasn’t necessarily rare but it was nearly unheard of outside of an actual mated pair — and Dean definitely wasn’t mated. Hell, he wasn’t even dating anyone. 

Even with the abnormality of his case, it didn’t take a genius to figure out who Dean’s wolf thought it was mated to. The treatment was surprisingly simple yet agonizing: a couple hormone shots a week and absolute isolation from the person who had rejected him. It was temporary, of course, but Dean’s soul couldn’t understand that and it longed and wailed and begged for the touch of someone it did not belong to. 

Dean had spent the majority of his recovery in the hospital, eventually transitioning to a comfortable private room with nice nurses who smelled like nothing. Charlie was put in charge of his personal affairs outside of his little room — contacting his family to let them know where he was, bringing him things from home, making sure every trace of Cas or Callie’s scent was gone from the apartment. And perhaps most importantly of all, trying to keep Cas off his tail. 

They never talked about him — they weren’t allowed to. But Dean could see the toll it was taking on his friend to lie, could practically smell Cas’s questions and concerns on her even after her scent-neutralizing shower and the sterile clothing she always had to change into. One time it got so bad, Dean flipped a table trying to escape. 

That’s when Charlie called in reinforcements.

“You know you could go, right?”

Dean perks at his little brother’s voice. It’s still weird seeing Sam here, in his home. But it’s good too. It’s been far too long and, while Dean wasn’t happy with the circumstances that had brought Sam here, it did his wolf a lot of good to have his little brother around. Sam had been by his side through his entire discharge process and when Dean entered his apartment for the first time in months it was the sweet scent of their childhood that welcomed him home. 

Dean looks down at the invitation then back at his brother with an arched brow. “To this? Are you kidding?”

Sam shrugs and sits next to Dean on the couch. “The doctor gave you the all-clear Monday. It’s Saturday. You can go.”

He was right, of course. The doctor had actually declared Dean out of rejection two weeks ago but kept Dean a few more days to let him adjust. Medically, Dean should be able to go up to Cas, wrap him in a big hug, and be totally fine. But Dean knew better. Cas might be out of his system now but Dean will never get him out of his head. Or his heart.

This entire fiasco had proven that.

Dean throws the invitation across the coffee table and sinks backwards into the couch. “Not happening.”

Sam sighs and Dean can hear the heart-to-heart coming. “Dean…”

“Don’t, Sam,” Dean warns.

Sam ignores it. He always did. “I really think you need to talk to Cas.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He can feel the bitch face boring a hole in the side of his head. “Your soul bonded to your best friend without a physical mating. I’m pretty sure that’s something to talk about.”

There’s just the ghost of an ache in Dean’s chest when Sam reminds him. Dean just tries to sink further into the furniture. “He doesn’t need to know.”

“You could have died, Dean! He at least deserves to know the truth of why he hasn’t heard from you in two months.”

“Then I’ll tell him I got hospitalized for something and I didn’t want to worry him.”

The bitch face grows stronger. “He’s going to ask what got you sick.”

“Untreated STD.”

“Dean.”

“What Sam?” Dean sits up to face his brother, heart a little erratic. “What do you want me to say? ‘Hi, Cas, long time no see, I was in the hospital because my wolf accidentally bonded with you because I’ve been in love with you for over _ten fucking years?_” 

_Oh, and also, I’m the biological father of your child?_

He shakes it all away and leans back into the couch. “I’d rather save us both the embarrassment.” 

Sam doesn’t argue further, just joins his brother on the couch and they blindly watch whatever’s flickering on the television. It’s silent and still in the room, just like at the hospital.

Dean can only take it for about two minutes before he goes to change his clothes. Sam watches him wordlessly as he comes out to fetch his shoes and jacket and, with a brief pause, the invitation on the coffee table. 

“I’ll call if I need you.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Shove it, Samantha,” Dean says and hurries out the door.

The engagement party is at Balthazar’s apartment. Dean’s stomach lurches unpleasantly when he’s once again standing in front of the looming building, though he knows it has nothing to do with the obnoxious structure. 

He feels jittery the entire ride up the elevator, fingers drumming on his thighs, and he hates himself for how nervous he is to see his best friend. He never wanted things to turn out like this between he and Cas, which is why he had always kept his crush to himself in the first place. And yet, it had still found a way to bite him in the ass.

He reaches the front door and knocks softly, and he recognizes the quiet part of him praying no one will hear it so he can claim no one answered and just go home. But a kind older woman opens the door a moment later, ushering him inside. 

“And who might you be?” she asks, looking him up and down.

“Um, I’m Cas’s friend. Dean.”

Her brow arches. “_The_ Dean? We’ve heard a lot about you, young man. I’m Mildred, Castiel’s grandmother.”

Getting his sense about him, Dean holds his hand out to shake. “It’s wonderful to meet you, ma’am.”

Mildred scoffs and instead of shaking his hand, she keeps hold of it. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, too, but if you call me ma’am again, this engagement party will become a funeral.” Dean swallows and nods. “Now, you come with me. Castiel has been eager to see you.”

Left with no choice, Dean is pulled from room to room in search of his friend. Mildred stops to introduce him to a few people here and there. It seems most of the crowd is related to Balthazar, not surprising since Cas’s family is mostly settled on the west coast. Dean shakes hands with everyone he meets, smiles and does his best to keep the small talk light. Mildred never lets go of him whether it’s his hand, his arm, and in once instance he’s pretty sure she tried to grab his ass.

He eyes her up for it and she just smiles bashfully. “Oops.”

She leads him to the kitchen next, her arm caught in his, and they walk at a comfortable pace for her. 

“Castiel’s been quite worried about you,” she says. “So worried, in fact, he called me in to help with all the planning. You know how tedious these sort of events can be. We’ve been trying to get in contact with you for weeks but you’re a very difficult man to find.”

Dean heats up. “Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I’ve um, I’ve been sick.”

“It must have really been something to keep you locked away so long.” There’s a venom behind the sweetness in her voice. “Well, it’s nice to see you are feeling better now.”

“Thank you, ma- Mildred.”

“You know, when Castiel first moved back home he talked about you all the time but never had any pictures to show us. It wasn’t until I was in his apartment I finally got to know what you looked like. It’s that photograph of you and Callie in the museum together.”

Dean nods, remembering a day when they’d met Cas at work. Just like the first time, they found their way to the old west exhibit and this time they found one of those old timey photographers. They had taken about a dozen in every cowboy get-up the photographer had available by the time Cas reached them and he had bought one to get printed. Dean and Callie had whined at first, but after seeing it framed in Cas’s living room, it kinda grew on him. 

“It’s funny, but when I first saw it,” Mildred continues as she pulls them to stop and looks Dean in the eye, “I thought I was seeing double. Upon further inspection, I realized I wasn’t looking at my granddaughter’s twin but rather her biological father instead.”

Dean’s mouth is dry in an instant and he flounders, trying to find something to say, but Mildred takes pity, pushes mouth shut and pats his chest. “Don’t panic, dear, your secret is safe with me. But remember, secrets corrode the hearts of their keepers. And it seems you’ve already done yours a fair bit of damage.” Her brows arch, in a clear challenge. Then, she squeezes his hand gives a final tug to draw him into the kitchen. 

“Castiel, love, I believe I’ve found something you’ve been searching for.”

“Dean!”

Something barrels into Dean’s legs, nearly taking him down. Dean feels Callie nuzzle into his legs and his chest warms with the strong beating like it’s finally working properly for the first time in months. He reaches down to pull the little girl into his arms and she wraps around him with all her might, face buried in his neck.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers. 

It takes more than Dean wants to admit to keep himself from crying. “Me too, sweetheart,” he chokes out. “More than you’ll ever know.”

After a moment she pulls back, green eyes blazing. “Never leave us like that again!”

Dean smiles shakily and nods. “Promise.”

Her little arms wrap even tighter around his neck and hugs him close. “I have so much to tell you about school. I got to wear your hat for show-and-tell and everyone loved it. And we did a history project and Daddy helped me make a replica of a saloon and you gotta see it!”

“I can’t wait, kiddo. I bet it was awesome.”

“Callie, dear,” Mildred pipes up, “why don’t you and I go nibble at the dessert table before all the good treats are eaten?”

Callie pouts as she regards her great-grandmother. “But why-” and something shifts between the two because Callie looks back at her father and then immediately perks up. “Yeah, Grandma, let’s do that.” She squeezes Dean one last time. “I’m glad you’re here.” Then she’s jumping down to her feet. “Find me later!” she instructs and then takes her grandma’s hand and vanishes out the doorway. 

Dean’s eyes stay trained on where they had stood just moments ago, too scared to turn around. He can’t see Cas, can’t even smell him, which hurts in a way he can’t vocalize, but he can still sense him and its enough to make his skin shiver. 

He hears slow, deliberate footsteps approach him and soon he can feel Cas’s body heat. 

“Dean,” Cas says on a breath. 

Dean nods and finally forces himself to turn around. “Hey, Cas.”

Cas looks tired, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual, and there’s a fold to his shoulders that doesn’t promise good health. 

“You’re actually here,” Cas says and it sounds aimed toward himself.

Dean tries for an easy shrug. “Well, of course. I couldn’t miss my buddy’s big day.”

Cas’s eyes search for his and they harden a few degrees, that familiar wrath settling home. “Where _have you been?”_

“I-I was- in the hospital.”

It’s like watching a hurricane pause and reconsider because just as quick as the storm had started, Cas was stopping in his tracks “The hospital? You were in the hospital and didn’t tell me? Dean, what happened? Are you okay?”

_Secrets corrode the hearts of their keepers._

“I’m fine,” Dean starts. “For the most part. My alpha was going through rejection.”

Several emotions flicker across Cas’s features all at once: confusion, disbelief, fear, worry. “Oh my god,” he finally whispers. “Are you- I know I already asked, but are you okay?”

Dean nods because he needs to say as few words as possible right now. “Yeah, I’m fine. I had to stay on lock down until I got it out of my system, but the doctor gave me the all-clear this week. She said I wouldn’t be at one-hundred percent right away, but over time I’ll be back to normal.”

“God, Dean, I’m so-” Cas looks close to tears which makes Dean start to panic. The rejection might be gone and Dean’s on some heavy duty meds but he knows his alpha can’t handle seeing an omega distressed right now.

“Cas, don’t be upset. I’m fine, I told you.”

Cas tries to take a deep breath and calm down. “No, I know. But I’ve been so angry with you and I felt like I was going insane because I kept thinking you were… I don’t even know. I can’t believe you were going through that without me. Who- was it because of Brady?”

Dean knows he set out to tell the truth, but maybe this needs to be done in baby steps. So he nods. “Yeah, we’re pretty sure since I hadn’t been seeing anyone else.”

“It set in pretty late then,” Cas comments.

Dean shrugs, trying to give away as little as possible. “Biology is weird, man.”

Suddenly, Cas is in Dean’s arms, warm and heavy against his chest. Dean let’s his arms snap around the omega, but doesn’t lower his head even as he feels Cas turn his face into his neck and his fingers pull on the back of his shirt. 

“I can’t smell you,” Cas whispers into his skin, sadly.

“The doctor has me on some pretty strong suppressants for a while.”

Cas pulls back, a look of distaste on his face. “Didn’t you say taking suppressants messes with your cooking? Because you can’t smell things right?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be okay without it for a few months. I have a great sous chef to look out for me.”

“_Months?_” Cas echoes. 

Dean nods. “Yeah, can’t risk me scent bonding anyone for three months. Then I’ll be good as new.”

The frown on Cas’s face gets deeper and deeper and honestly it can barely be called a frown because it’s much… sadder? 

Dean gives his friend a comforting squeeze. “I’m gonna be okay, Cas. This is nothing to worry about.”

Cas glares at him. “I don’t think you can try to blow off your health after an incident like this, Dean. And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Why would you ever-”

“Hey, Cas?” A dark-haired beta pokes their head into the kitchen and pulls their attention. “Balthazar is looking for you. I think it’s almost time for the speech.” 

“I’ll be right there,” Cas says and watches the beta leave. He doesn’t step back from Dean, doesn’t make any indication of wanting to leave at all.

Dean stays equally as still, not sure what the next move is. “Speech?” he finally goes with, arching a brow.

Cas snorts and nods his head. “Yes, Balthazar’s family can be rather traditional. They’re turning this entire engagement into a much larger circus than it needs to be.” He sighs, “It’s exhausting.”

Dean frowns at the shift in Cas’s posture. He’s wearing that exhaustion loud and clear. Last time Dean checked, that isn’t what a happily engaged person was supposed to look like. “Is this what you want?”

Cas looks up at him, eyes confused. “What do you mean?”

“This wedding. Balthazar. Is this what you really want?”

“Of course,” Cas says immediately. “I wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t.”

Of course he wouldn’t have. Cas didn’t have to settle for anything. He always got exactly what he wanted. 

Dean nods and smiles. “Okay. Just making sure.”

Cas looks like he wants to say something but another head pops into the room asking for him. He smiles apologetically at Dean. “I need to find my fiance.” He starts to move away but pauses, something like anxiety in his eyes as he reaches out and squeezes Dean’s wrist. “Don’t leave without saying something, okay?”

Dean swallows the guilt trying to suffocate him. “Yeah, okay.”

Once Cas is gone Dean has no choice but to wander around with the rest of the guests. He meets a few more distant cousins, a couple of Balthazar’s rich old aunties. Actually, the more of Balthazar’s relatives that he meets the more his skin crawls. The very idea of these people being around his kid-

“Have you discussed Balthazar’s parental rights?” An elderly woman’s voice carries to Dean from the next room over, piquing his attention. He edges his body closer to the doorway, staying hidden but near to enough to follow the conversation. 

“Yes, actually.” That’s Cas’s voice. There’s a polite edge to it and Dean can just imagine the sharp twist to his lips. “We are planning to add his name to the birth certificate after the ceremony.”

Birth certificate? 

“Excellent decision,” another woman chimes in. “Balthazar will finally have his legal rights as the alpha parent.”

“Well, yes, but it’s not like he’ll have any reason to use them,” Cas says, a note of worry in his voice.

“Of course not, dear.”

“Most importantly,” the first woman says, “Callie will finally carry her father’s last name.” 

A cold chill rushes through Dean’s bones.

“I _am_ Callie’s father.”

There’s a condescending chuckle. “Yes, but we mean her alpha father’s. It will do us all some good once everything is as it should be and you and Callie properly take your places as Roches.”

“No!”

The word tears out of Dean before he can stop it and every eye turns to him. Cas runs around the corner and stares at him, eyes wide. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

Dean shakes his head, bites his lips, does everything he can think of to keep the words at bay. But all he can think of are Cas and Callie bearing another alpha’s name, Cas with another alpha’s bite, Callie thinking she shares blood with a man she doesn’t even like. A man who belittles their wishes, whose family spoke to Cas as if his eight years as a single parent meant nothing because of his designation. 

All of this was happening because of Dean biting his tongue all of these years and his body refused to keep the secret even a heartbeat longer.

“Balthazar is not Callie’s father.”

Cas steps closer to him, his frown deepening. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s not Callie’s father,” Dean repeats, his chest heaving in anticipation of his next words. “I am.”

The words seem to burn all the air from the room it’s so damn quiet no one was breathing. Cas eyes Dean, something dark starting to pool into his blue irises. “What the hell are you talking about Dean?”

“I-I- the night of the insemination party. I was drunk and I-I went to your bathroom.” 

Cas nods as if verifying Dean’s story. “Yeah, and?”

Dean shifts uncomfortably, feeling all the eyes on the room on him. “When I was in there I… I accidentally dropped the donor sperm. Down the sink.”

There’s an audible gasp throughout the room.

“And I-I replaced it… with… my own.”

All the blue in Cas’s eyes are gone. “You replaced… my donor’s sperm… with your own,” he repeats, slow and dangerous.

“I’m so sorry, Cas,” Dean says immediately, letting the words pour from him like they’ve wanted to for years. “I have no excuse. I didn’t even know until something made me remember on Callie’s birthday. I know it means nothing, but I was drunk and upset and I-I was jealous-”

“Jealous of _what?_” Cas barks.

Dean’s eyes wander to the other side of the room where Balthazar was standing, all the color drained from his face. “Him,” Dean answers and looks back at Cas.

“We weren’t even dating then!” Cas cries. “There was nothing to be jealous of. I just wanted to have a child and you-you-”

“I was in love with you.”

The scariest words Dean has ever said strike Cas like lightning, his back going rigid. The rage in his eyes is gone, replaced with a sort of stunned blankness. 

“When you asked me to help you find a donor it killed me because all I could think about was how badly I wanted to give that to you. To be your mate and give you children. But I knew you didn’t want that from me so I tried to be a good friend. When you left I thought I was going to finally move on. I thought I actually had moved on,” Dean amends, daring to take a step closer. “But the second you got back I realized not a damn thing had changed. I’m still in love with you Cas. Have been since freshman year.”

Cas sucks in a sharp breath. There’s murmuring around the room and Cas’s eyes look around, taking in the looks and whispers, before turning back to Dean. “Why are you doing this?” he asks and sounds like he wants to cry.

It kills Dean. He never wanted to hurt Cas, never wanted his love for his friend to be a burden and that’s exactly what it’s turned into. But he knows he has to finish this, to protect Cas and Callie from a future that neither of them wants or deserves.

He walks until he’s just arms length from Cas and when he speaks, his words are just for Cas’s ears. “Because I want you to be happy. Because I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry him to give Callie this ideal childhood with both of her parents.” Cas’s eyes spark with fury but Dean presses on. “You don’t need me or him or anyone else to give her a perfect life because she already has one with just you. You’re a great dad, Cas. And you deserve so much better than this. You both do.” 

Cas doesn’t respond for a long time. His eyes drift to the floor and Dean can practically see the gears spinning in his head. Waiting feels like walking the Green Mile but Dean determines to keep his head up and accept his fate. 

Finally, Cas lifts his chin. Cold eyes bore into his and Dean is nodding before Cas even delivers his sentence, “Don’t come near me or my child ever again.”

There’s nothing to say to that, no apology strong enough or a plea that could change his mind. 

There’s nothing left to say but, “Bye, Cas.”

“No, Dean!”

Callie fights her way through the thick of adults and this time Dean ducks in time to catch her in his arms. She squeezes him close like she never wants to let him go and Dean returns the sentiment. 

“Please don’t go,” she whispers into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, kiddo,” he says, turning to kiss the side of her head. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Callie, let’s go,” Cas says sharply from behind. 

“Daddy, please!” Callie cries. “Please, don’t make him leave, Daddy, please!”

Whatever is left of Dean’s heart shatters. His eyes strain with tears and he can’t hold them back. But he can brush Callie’s away gently, offer his most comforting smile. “Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart. Listen. I have to go away for awhile. But Daddy is going to take care of you just like always. You have to listen to him, okay?”

Her lips tremble. “But I don’t want you to leave again. I love you.”

Dean’s lip trembles too when he says, “I love you too, sweetheart. And I always will. More than you’ll ever know.” He pulls her in for one last squeeze, kisses the top of her head, feels her tears dampen his T-shirt. 

When he stands, Callie backs up into the legs of her father. Dean doesn’t look up again, just focuses on the perfect little girl his mistake had made. 

_Not a mistake,_ he reminds himself. _The best kind of accident._

“Take care, kiddo.”

Cas doesn’t say anything when Dean passes by and Dean doesn’t expect him to. The party guests split like the Red Sea as Dean approaches the front door, still not making a sound. 

Dean doesn’t remember how he gets home or what words Sam says when he walks through the door. He just goes to his room and lies on his bed. 

And he cries.


	14. Chapter 14

“Almost done cleaning up the bar, Chef.”

Dean claps the waiter on the shoulder as he passes by. “Great. And don’t forget to check the safe before you head out. Good work tonight.”

The front lights go out and Dean is left alone in the kitchen, his sanctuary of stainless steel and soft buzzing machinery. It smells sterile, just the slightest whiff of lemon to curl your nose and please your lips. The fluorescent lights hum above him as he slides onto a stool and pulls out the paperwork he needs to complete. It’s without a doubt his least favorite part of the job and he can’t say he missed it at all. But the rest of it, that he had missed dearly. 

Chopping and mincing at inhuman pace, arranging plates down to the most minute detail, sniffing at every pot and pan as it bubbles, simmers, and sizzles. And doing it all while dancing around the fast hands of his staff, the heat of the kitchen caving around them as more and more orders are brought through the door. It’s constant stress and exhilaration and he missed it. He really, really missed it. 

It had taken him a minute to get back into the swing of things after so long away. He’d forgotten the way people move, the number of steps between the deep freeze and the fryer. But it had all come back eventually. 

He sighs and refocuses his attention on the spreadsheets in front of him. 

The season is changing fast. He tries not to think of it in terms of the days passed, the days of missing out on… he just tries not to think about it. Rather, he focuses on the future, the summer days ahead that will taste like lemon and berries and bold herbs. Summer is sharp and tangy, makes the space between your eyes tingle, makes your skin tight. Dean sits in his kitchen and tries to craft those thoughts into food, reimagining his menu. 

If a few of those summer thoughts conjure up the laughter of a young girl and a certain man’s eyes that reflect the blue of the sky only found in summer… he ignores it and pushes the thoughts away. They put up a fight. Dean sighs and pulls a different chart in front of him. Maybe he’ll just go over the expense reports for tonight.

A knock from the front of the restaurant draws his eyes and he frowns. Who knocks on a clearly closed restaurant’s front door at one in the morning? 

He gets up slowly and walks out into the dining area. He can make out a shadow through the glass of the front door and the glow of the yellow street lights. The streets are a little brighter than usual, the lights reflecting off the puddles left behind by the rain. The closer Dean gets, he squints, trying to see if this is a shape he recognizes or if he’s about to deal with some crazy drunk lost on the street.

Then a face appears in the window and a familiar smile appears in the dull light. “You really gonna make me dig out my key, brotha?”

Dean rolls his eyes and unlocks the door, pulling it open. “What the hell are you doing here, Benny?”

Benny steps in and water shakes off his shoulder. “Forgot that strudel I made for Andrea.”

“And so you decided to come all the way back to work at one in the morning to get it?” Dean asks as they make their way back to the kitchen. 

He hears Benny’s laughter as the man disappears into the fridge. “You’ll understand when you’ve got a pregnant mate at home.”

Dean’s gut twists but he manages a soft chuckle. “Ah so the horror stories about cravings are true.”

Benny steps out of the fridge and rolls his eyes. “You’ve got no idea. Last week she wanted nothing but pickles so I bought a shit ton of them to be nice. Now the very sight of them make her nauseous and I have like eight jars of pickles in the fridge .” His hands raise in surrender. “But I don’t argue. I just throw the pickles away and go get strudel at one a.m.”

“Smart man,” Dean teases.

“I’ve learned the hard way.” His eyes slide behind Dean to where all his paperwork is laid out. “I see you have great plans for a Friday night.”

Dean shrugs with a lazy grin. “Gotta get them done some time and it’s not like I got anyone to get back to.”

He means it lightly but he sees the way Benny frowns immediately. The giant alpha puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Hey man, I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I’m sorry about how things with Brady ended up.”

Dean nods because it’s the only response he can think of. He hasn’t disclosed everything that’s been going on the past few months with his team. Not even Benny. They’ve known about the breakup for a while, but Dean never gave them the full story. They knew Dean was out of work so long because he was hospitalized, but they don’t know why and, out of politeness or maybe fear of being fired, they’ve never asked. 

Dean doesn't think he could ever fully explain what all has been happening in his life the past few months. Doesn’t really want to try. 

So he nods and says, “It’s nothing, man. Thanks though.”

“You ever try talking to him? Seeing if you could work things out?” Benny tries again.

The idea of ever seeing the beta again and not getting kicked in the balls is almost laughable. “No,” Dean says with confidence. “That ship has sailed.”

Benny nods, lips frowned as if to say he understands. His hand squeezes Dean shoulder before falling back to his side. “Don’t worry, brotha, we’ll find you someone.”

Dean doesn’t know how to tell him that he doesn’t need to find someone. He already has. And he can never have him. 

He smiles, trying to look grateful. “Thank, man. Look, you get that back to Andrea before she sets your place on fire.”

Benny looks down at the carryout box and laughs. “Good point. I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Have a good night,” Dean says and walks Benny out, locking the door behind him.

He returns to her paperwork a little slower than before. Takes his seat. 

He thinks about summer again, summer scents, summer tastes. 

Honey and rain. Blue eyes. Chocolate hair. 

Dean shakes his head sharply. None of that. 

He picks up his pen and bends over the reports again. 

There’s a knock at the front door.

Dean drops the pen with a laugh. Should have known he wouldn't actually get anything done tonight. 

He trudges back up front, slower than before, and smiles when he sees the shadowed figured in the door. “What?” he calls as he walks across the dining room, “did you forget the tiramisu you made for Andrea, too?”

He unlocks the door and pulls it open. 

It’s not Benny at the door. 

“Cas,” he chokes.

The omega’s lips twitch in what may be the premature attempt of a smile. He pushes inside past Dean who is still staring dumbly outside. Because this can’t be real. Cas can’t actually be here.

But he is. He’s standing just feet away in the entrance of Dean’s restaurant, wearing the tan trench coat Dean had gotten him for Christmas years ago to replace the ratty one he’d always worn around college. It was an undeniable improvement, actually fitting his shoulders and didn’t drown him in useless material. 

They stare at each other for a long while. Dean has no idea what to say, figures that if anyone should have the floor it’s Cas. But the omega doesn’t say a word, just watches Dean with a look Dean can’t place and it makes him more nervous, makes him have to look away.

“Um, what are you doing here?”

Cas’s face gives nothing away when he says, “Callie keeps asking about you. She misses you.”

Dean swallows, not sure how to respond, what would be appropriate to say after everything. But the truth demands attention and he finds himself saying, “I miss her, too.” 

Cas watches him closely for a moment before he sighs and his entire body seems to deflate. “I don’t know what to say right now,” he says softly. 

_Anything,_ Dean thinks. _You can say anything you want. He certainly deserves it. _

“I want to be mad at you,” Cas says, his voice still incredibly soft. Almost unintelligible. He looks up at Dean and his eyes are wide and earnest. “I want to be furious and I want to hate you. But I can’t be,” he says helplessly.

Dean’s breath catches. 

“When you said Callie was yours it was like something clicked into place. Like everything made sense for the first time since she was born. And for a moment, it made me so impossibly happy.” A low growl darkens his words near the end. “But then it hit me what you had done and I could have killed you.”

Dean bows his head. “I can’t apologize enough, Cas-”

“Don’t apologize,” Cas barks. “What you did was beyond fucked up and crossed a million different lines-”

Dean flinches with every damning word but takes it. It’s long overdue. 

“But in some weird, fucked up way… I’m glad you did it.”

Dean can actually hear the record scratch in his brain and his eyes fly up to meet Cas’s whose now smiling and it’s soft and tired. 

“What?” Dean asks, the only clear thought he can muster. “B-but what about Balthazar?”

“We broke up the day after the engagement party.”

“What?” Dean says again, but far louder.

Cas looks ready to roll his eyes. “I think we all know that relationship was doomed to hell. Everyone but us, anyway.” His smile is rueful. “You were right. I was ignoring every instinct I had to leave because I wanted to give Callie the perfect life. Two happily married parents, picket fence and a golden retriever, the whole deal.”

“And you deserve that,” Dean assures him.

Cas’s eyes tell him to shut up so he does. “That’s not what I want, Dean. Do you know what I want? My ultimate dream for years now?”

Dean does not even in the slightest but he makes himself ask, “What is it?”

“I want to kiss this guy I met in college. The most beautiful guy you’ve ever seen. Unfairly gorgeous. His eyes, his hair, his lips, his shoulders.” Cas growls deep in his chest, eyes closing to clearly enjoy a memory. “I used to daydream about his shoulders.”

Dean is sure this is some kind of divine punishment for his crimes and can’t help finding it a little cruel. He doesn’t remember Cas ever mentioning liking someone this much in college. Although, Cas has never been the type to share much about his love life so maybe he just kept it private.

“And just to make him even more perfect, he’s also funny. And he’s kind, the most generous, loving person I’ve ever met. And so smart. And he’s an amazing cook. I think the first time I knew I was in love with him was when he made me this delicious peanut butter cake for my birthday.” Dean’s eyes snap up in time to catch Cas’s pink tongue licking his lips. “I remember because all I could think about while eating this amazing cake was his scent. It was like I couldn't get it out of my system. Like we were already mated without even having touched one another."

The gears in Dean’s brain are spinning wildly. Because he remembers that cake. Peanut butter cake with chocolate ganache and caramelized bananas. Dean made it near the end of his first year of culinary school... for Cas’s birthday.

For a hot second, Dean feels dizzy. Cas's words are clicking into place and Dean sees where they're leading but it's like the final destination is still blurry. Because it makes no goddamn sense. Unless...

A snarl fights out of him. "Did Charlie tell you about the bond?"

Cas blinks owlishly. "Charlie?"

"So it was Sam?" Dean starts to shake even as he vows to strangle his brother should he ever make it out of this conversation with Cas. "He swore he wasn't going to say anything. _Fuck._" The humiliation slowly starts to seep in with the full realization of what this conversation really was, what Cas was actually here for. And Dean knows that he has to stop it now. "Look, Cas, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?" Cas asks. 

"I know it probably sounded insane and it is. I still don't even understand how the hell it happened. But everything is fine. We were able to break it and the doctor swore that because it was one-sided, it couldn't affect you. You don't have to do anything."

Cas has looked at Dean like he's crazy a million times over the course of their friendship, so Dean is well acquainted with that particular look. The one he's giving Dean now, however, tells Dean that he may have hit a whole new level of insanity. "What can't affect me?"

"The bond and the rejection," Dean clarifies with an irritated huff because talking about this shit is still embarrassing and painful. "My alpha was the one who made it. Like I said, don't know how, but it did. But since it wasn't reciprocated, there's no way for it to infect you. And even if it could have, the rejection would have hit you at the same time as me. So you're in clear."

Cas tilts his head, staring at Dean intently. "Okay, hold on. I'm sorry, are you saying that we _bonded?"_

"Not a complete bond," Dean assures him, trying not to flinch at how ludicrous Cas makes the very idea sound. "It was just me. And I'm all recovered anyway so whatever dumb shit Sam told you to do, you don't have to. I'm fine."

"Wait, Dean, stop," Cas says, holding up a hand. "I'm... Sam never said anything about a bond."

All the blood drains from Dean's face. "He didn't?"

"No! I haven't even talked to him." Gold flashes through Cas's eyes. "I came here to tell you that I love you... and now I'm finding out that you created a whole fucking bond with me?"

At that very moment, Dean would have welcomed a thousand deaths. Anything that would take him out of this. As it is, all he has are his two feet and they start backing up toward the kitchen without even being told. "I... I'm sorry, Cas. I'm just... I have to-" he turns to flee and-

"Stop running away from me!" Cas screams.

Dean immediately stills in his track. In all the years they've known each other, he's never heard Cas like that. That scream was desperate and heartbroken and even without his nose Dean can tell that exactly how Cas feels right now.

"What the fuck Dean?" Cas yells again. "How did we get to this? When did we start keeping these kinds of secrets from each other? Didn't you think I had a right to know something like that?"

"You were engaged, Cas!" Dean yells back. "How was I supposed to tell you? And it wasn't like I was aware of it until I was in the hospital. And as soon as I got out I had your engagement party to go to!"

Cas looks ready to pop off again but suddenly all the tension leaves his body. "Wait," he says, backing up a step. "You said you were in the hospital for rejection. This was the rejection? It was because of me?"

Dean shakes his head wildly. "No, no! It had nothing to do with you, Cas, you didn't even do anything. It was just me."

"But it was because of your bond with me," Cas states.

"Yeah, but-"

"No, be quiet!" Cas cuts him off and takes the few quick steps needed to get into Dean's face. "It's my turn to talk. I'm furious, Dean Winchester. I came here tonight to tell you that I love you." Dean loses his breath. "But this... I don't even know what to say to you right now. How could you keep these kinds of secrets from me? How could you never tell me that you felt this strongly?"

It takes Dean a long moment to gain the ability to speak. "I...didn't think it would matter."

"How could it not matter, Dean?" Cas cries. "These are your feelings we're talking about! Of course they matter!"

"Because I didn't think I could ever stand a chance," Dean finally admits. "You're like the perfect person, Cas. You're smart and funny and beautiful and you're so nice it's obnoxious sometimes. You have a great family and you deserve someone who can give you anything you could ever want. I'm not that person. I'm a mess on my best days. I mean, god, look at what I did to you with Callie. I could never make you as happy as you deserve to be. I felt lucky just being your friend and now we can't even be that because of how badly I've fucked everything up."

His words seem to knock all the wind right out of Cas's sails. The omega is silent for a long time, his eyes downcast. Then, he looks up and when he does his eyes are bright and determined. "You're right," he says. "We can't be friends."

Dean's alpha cries out but he keeps his face neutral. 

"Because I don't want to just be your friend anymore. I want to mate with you. I've wanted to since I first met you. I want to wake up to you every day and I want you to be the last thing I see every night. I want your scent all over me and all over our house. I want to kiss you until I can't breathe and I want to touch you every chance I get." As he says it, Cas takes Dean's hand and holds it tightly. "That is what would make me happy."

Dean’s mouth goes dry suddenly. “Cas,” he says finally. “I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

Cas just moves closer. “Look, I realize we have a lot to figure out, a lot to discuss. But I think we should save that for later and focus on right now.”

“Right now,” Dean echoes.

Cas nods, squeezing Dean’s hand. “Yes. And right now, here's what's going to happen: you're going to come home with me. You’re going to wash those blockers off so I can smell my best friend again and you’re going to hold me all night. And then in the morning, we’re going to wake up and make breakfast for our daughter. After she goes to a friend's house, you and I are going to sit down and have a long overdue conversation about our relationship. And then you're going to take me back to bed and claim me."

It all sounds wonderful and like straight out of a fantasy for Dean. Sounds like a dream. Too good to be true. But there is one word in there that really stands out to him, makes his entire body tense with the hope it incites. “Our?”

Cas’s smile is dazzling. “Ours,” he confirms. “Does that sound like a good plan to you?”

Dean can’t answer verbally, so for the first time in months he lets his instincts respond. He doesn’t fight it when his arms reach out to wrap around Cas’s back and pull him close, doesn’t argue with himself when he feels his head leaning down even as Cas’s head tilts up and their lips brush for the first time. Doesn’t hold back when he feels Cas’s lips open beneath him and that soft brush turns into passion and desperation. 

He doesn’t know how long they kiss, doesn’t really care either. When they separate, Cas’s hands are on his chest, fisted into his shirt as if to keep Dean exactly where he is, keep him from running. 

“That was even better than I imagined,” Cas whispers into the heated space between them.

Dean hums in agreement.

Cas’s hands slide down to Dean’s, weaving their fingers together. “Can I take you home now?”

Words finally return to Dean and with the most clarity he’s had since Cas walked through the door, he says, “Lead the way.”


	15. Epilogue

***Two Years Later***

Dean grabs the pan and tosses it gently, throws in a dash of salt and a pinch of red pepper before returning it to the fire for its final minutes. Over the sizzling and banging about of his kitchen, he can hear the faint whistle of swords clashing and he can feel the house shaking under the force of the small armies currently storming through the living room. 

It makes him smile.

Suddenly, the smell of garlic and pepper is muted beneath strong notes of honey and damp earth and the kitchen smells like a garden in late spring. Dean smiles as Cas presses against him from behind, hands on his hips, lips kissing the back of his neck, and the gentle swell of his belly pushing into Dean’s lower back.

“It smells amazing in here,” Cas’s deep voice rumbles into his ear.

Dean turns in Cas’s hold and kisses his forehead. “It does now.”

His hands drift down to Cas’s stomach without thinking, as they often do. Cas is about four months now and just starting to show. It still bewilders Dean every day when he gets to see and feel the evidence of their lives together, just like it had whenever he saw Cas’s wedding ring on his finger after they first got married. Took him months to fully wrap his head around that. Or the mating mark on Cas’s neck and the matching one on Dean’s. It just all still felt very surreal, like a fever dream Dean was desperate to never wake up from. 

“You feeling okay?” Dean asks. 

He knows he’s probably asked that question too many times because Cas rolls his eyes. “I’m fine, Dean. Just because I’m pregnant with a baby doesn’t mean that I become one, you know. And I’ve done this before.”

Dean’s lips frown. He knows that, knows it so well it hurts to be reminded. The last time Cas was like this he was completely alone and thought he was having a baby by a completely different man. 

“Hey.” Strong fingers grip his chin and pull his eyes into two lovely pools of blue. They’re on the verge of fire, promising trouble if not heeded. “Stop thinking about it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was…”

“Dean,” Cas says sharply and Dean closes his mouth. Cas stretches up to his tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, comforting him. He’s a lot more affectionate like that lately. Dean not so secretly loves it and Cas loves using it to turn the alpha into a puddle. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he apologizes and lets the omega nuzzle into him, his scent growing around them to calm his nerves. 

“Can you two stop being gross for like two seconds?” someone gripes from the doorway.

Dean and Cas both open their eyes are met with what is essentially an overly large tin can but is actually a 10-year-old girl in full body armor. 

“Sorry, Tin Man, didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Dean teases and pulls far enough away from Cas to move his food to safety. 

But Cas moves with him, keeping their bodies connected and in sync. Another delightful side effect of pregnancy, though not as much at night when it’s way too hot and Cas is stuck to him like an octopus. Dean always sucks it up though and allows his mate as much of him as he wants. 

Callie doesn’t look amused if the squint of her eyes through her helmet is any indicator. After her cowboys phase, Callie had taken a hard left turn into the middle ages. Instead of dude ranches and old westerns, she was all about renaissance faires and knights in shining armor. Which was the theme of her birthday this year and explained why Dean and Cas had a bunch of pre-teens running around their house dressed like medieval soldiers and nobles. 

“You’re never sorry,” Callie gripes behind her mouthpiece. 

“Very true,” Cas says with a smile and leans to press a kiss on Dean’s jaw. “We’re never sorry even in the slightest.”

“Gross, Dad,” she says with an obvious sneer before turning her attention to the alpha. “Pops, is the food almost done?”

Dean gives everything another quick glance. “Yep. Should have it all plated and really to consume in fifteen.”

“Awesome! We’re going to have a jousting tournament in the backyard!” And with that, she’s off as fast as she can go -- which isn’t very fast when your limbs are all covered in metal. 

Dean and Cas both chuckle as they watch her waddle and clank away, heads leaning together. “Your kid is weird,” Dean says.

“My kid? She gets all of that from you,” Cas challenges.

“You literally study this shit for a living.”

“Curating historical exhibits and dressing up as the people who lived then are two vasty different things and I think we both know between the two of us which one has the costume and role play kink.”

Dean groans. “It was two times.”

“Three,” Cas corrects. “Cowboy, doctor, and librarian.”

Dean’s entire face turns red as the memories that flood his brain when Cas names them all. Cas leans into the counter and laughs and Dean pouts at him. “Shut it and help me plate this food. They’re going to need energy after their jousting tournament.”

Cas just laughs and goes to help his husband.


End file.
